Opacity
by Daydreamishly
Summary: In which Sora and Kairi plan a wedding, but don't quite make it to the altar. RS.
1. Chapter 1

Title. Opacity.  
>Author. Daydreamishly<br>Rating. T for language and implied sexual contact between consenting adults.  
>Setting: Destiny Islands post-KH2; series-canon through Kingdom Hearts Two. Precludes possibilities of another Sora-and-company-centric Kingdom Hearts plot.<br>Pairings: Mainly Riku/Sora. Established Sora/Kairi., mentions unrequited Riku/Kairi. Peripheral mentions of several other pairings.  
>Warnings. Although I find it ridiculous to alter rating for it, I should mention that this work is meant to explore a relatively realistic (in context of the Kingdom Hearts universe) romantic relationship between Sora and Riku. (Yeah, yeah, oxymoron. Go away, canon-shippers.) That means homosexuality. Also, I have thrown in random Final Fantasy characters to populate the Destiny Islands. I'm only familiar with the FFVII, FFX, and FFXIII universes personally, so that's where the "new" characters will come from. I won't reuse any other characters used already in the series. Also, this was originally a one-shot that was lolwtf long. I split it into separate chapters to make it easier to read, but if the flow is off, um, blame that.<br>Summary. Riku lives on edge, traveling the Destiny Islands, looking for any adrenaline fix. He finally comes home for Sora and Kairi's engagement party, only to face what he's been running from all this time.

* * *

><p>Their lives were- shockingly- very normal. Being gone for three years had put them behind, at first. Not only had they fallen behind classmates, but three years' absence had made them forget much of routine life. School, faces, places, memories... How many times had Selphie grinned at Sora, whom she had always had a crush on, and said, "Do you remember when...?" The first few times he would laugh and admit he did not recall the anecdote, and be made fun of for absent-mindedness. But as this happenstance recurred more frequently, Sora would just slip on a false smile and nod. Of course he remembered. He hadn't lost anything in the three years of his childhood he'd sacrificed to conquer unnamed evils and restore his life. Everything was absolutely normal.<p>

The waitress paused in wiping a table off with a rag when Sora loudly inhaled the last bits of a strawberry smoothie, sitting facing the door on a yellow and chrome bar stool at one of his favourite diners. It hadn't been on the island before he left, so it was devoid of guilty half-memories that he would struggle to capture before it would flutter aimlessly away; a moth in the dark. He came here most days after class, waiting for Kairi to get off from her work as a Kindergarten teacher. Kairi loved children. Sora sighed. It was often joked by their friends that when they got married- when, not if, despite no engagement plans- Kairi would insist on procreating enough to populate their _own_ island. Sora usually laughed and did not challenge the notion, but inwardly, for reasons he could not pin down, he cringed.

The waitress, a slim, green-eyed girl with her pink hair sloppily pulled into low pigtails, sat next to him.

"Break time," she declared in her bizarre accent, reclining and draping elbows over the bar behind her. No one else was in the diner, and the bright afternoon sunlight streamed in through the windows, bouncing off the chrome opaquely. Years ago, bright lights had given Sora flashbacks of a door and condemning his best friend to God knew what fate. Now, they gave him headaches.

"Slacker," he accused absently, studying the view outside the glass panels that served as walls. It was beautiful, as usual. The island rarely saw rain; never snow.

"Where's your girl?" Vanille ignored his half-hearted jibe.

"I assume she's still working." Kairi often took on extra hours. Was it to avoid the awkward silences that transpired more and more often between them, he wondered? The moments when her cheerfulness could not find its kindred spirit in his contemplations had increased as he had grown older. He had sobered his optimism, and while he was still the upbeat, naïve young man he'd been around friends, between them he did not bother to keep a facade of innocence. He would not insult her intelligence by pretending to be happy, when he felt locked in a mundane life of a room, without a key.

"And your other friend? The silver-haired one? I haven't seen him around here in a while..." She clasped her hands and stretched lethargically as she said this.

"Riku is... Busy." Sora said carefully, now staring at his large red sneakers. How could he explain to this casual half-friend that Riku spent most of his days traveling, seeking his next thrill, worrying everyone who wanted to love him?

Vanille rested a hand on his shoulder, and when he looked at her she was smiling. "Well, you should make sure he comes back to visit. He was a cutie." She winked and then slipped off the bar stool, walking back behind the counter and disappearing into the kitchen. Sora watched her go until he felt his pocket buzzing. He took out a cell phone and saw Kairi's contact number. He pressed the ignore button without thinking, and then felt guilty immediately thereafter. He would have to make up some excuse about being engaged in conversation and not wanting to be rude, but Kairi didn't deserve his avoidance, or his lies.

A moment later the phone buzzed again, and Sora read Kairi's text that she would be late. She hadn't bothered to provide further explanation, and after a moment of staring into space, it occurred to Sora that he hadn't wondered after one.

Vanille came back with another smoothie.

"I didn't know you guys gave free refills here," he said suspiciously, staring at the plastic glass.

"On the house," she grinned. Sora had to smile.

"Thanks, but do you think you can make it to-go?"

Vanille raised a thin eyebrow, slightly darker than her hair. "Leaving so soon?"

"I've been here for two hours," Sora countered, hopping off the bar stool. "Never mind, anyway. I can't take it inside the library. Thanks, though." Just to be kind, he gulped at least half of it down in fifteen seconds. He threw an additional bill down that would pay for the smoothie perhaps three times over, and before Vanille could work up more than a few syllables of protestation, he left.

* * *

><p>Sora had meant to go to the library, maybe to read quietly or to look at the small art gallery, which was mostly dominated by works by Kairi through various mediums; usually coloured pencil. Though she had only ever been a branch of Kairi's soul, Naminé's persona shone occasionally- normally in the form of art- through Kairi, as Roxas's melancholy did through Sora. Instead, he ended up on the small uninhabited island he and his friends played on as children. He'd been here a handful of times since he came home; those first years he would look to his side and see the exact scenery, but cloaked in heavy shadow, black figures morphing from the sand, though it had been brightest day seconds ago. He would blink, and it would all be gone.<p>

Now, his post traumatic stress had alleviated considerably. Yet, he was simply too quiet and too contemplative to be Old Sora. He capitalized it in his head, like the younger version of himself was an entirely different person with a different name. He just wasn't that boy anymore, try as hard as he could. And Kairi was not exactly Old Kairi, for that matter. More guarded and compromising than she was once. Less of a romantic. But Riku...

Sora smiled, almost picturing his friend sitting atop the bent paopu tree, scowling into the sunset, seemingly thinking he could capture the horizon, if only he could glare enough at it.

Riku had not changed all that much.

The ground crunched with a covering of brown leaves, though it was summer. Apparently none of his friends had been around in a while, either, and the next generation had no interest. Sora sighed, sitting on the edge of the abandoned mini-island, gazing out at the sea. He watched his little rowboat, nearly too small to hold him anymore, bob at the dock for a while, a smile absently playing over his lips. Because of Kairi's job, he had ample opportunity to witness the goings on of the next generation. Her class was well familiarised with him, as he often popped in to visit his girlfriend and bring her lunch if he had nothing better to do. The children were curious, but lacked something of the playful innocence, the belief of impossibilities and magic that he had. They were a product of an information overflow, when questions were answered before they were asked, and fantasy was merely a genre. He was shocked to learn that at least half her students owned cell phones for "emergency purposes," and all were comfortable and familiar with a computer. Sora hadn't been in frequent contact with a computer until he was at least ten, and even then he couldn't begin to approach the Gummi Ship's navigation system.

The sun slipped over the edge of oceana without Sora noticing. He only became aware of his surroundings when he heard crunching behind him. He leaped with graceful agility to his feet and assumed a defensive position and willed the Keyblade to him, before he realised that he hadn't the power to access it anymore. He felt suddenly stupid when he noticed Kairi, frozen, five feet away from him. He sighed and dropped into a normal standing position, hanging his head a little.

"I thought you were over the flashbacks," Sora could imagine the line forming between her eyebrows, though the evening light did not let him see her that clearly.

"I am," he assured her hurriedly. "Mostly."

"Sora..."

"Really, Kairi. It's fine. That's the first... incident I've had in months. Must be the setting."

There was an uncertain pause before Kairi seemed to decide it wasn't worth pursuing. Sora took advantage of her silence to turn back to the ocean and sit down. The moon was a wicked crescent, slicing a neat arc of white-silver into deep navy. Sora had forgotten how clearly one could see the stars away from the boisterous main islands. Kairi sat down tentatively beside him.

"I talked to my parents today." She said after a moment. Sora nodded.

"How are they?"

"They're good. They're..." Kairi looked down at her lap, where she twisted her small hands nervously. "Sora... I think they expect us to get married soon."

Sora did not know how to react to this. "Oh."

Kairi looked discouraged. "They've been hinting pretty heavily lately... I think it's because my dad is slowing down, and he wants to know that I'm okay before he..."

There was a pause. Sora made no attempt to assuage her fear, or react in any way. He just let it happen, like always. Kairi sighed.

"I know you were... Waiting... For him." No need to ask who him was.

"So were you." Sora said quietly, startling Kairi, who had been sure it was going to be a one-sided conversation.

"No, Sora, I..." She looked at him, and when he did not look back at her, she continued, "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied automatically.

"I know. That's why..." Kairi took one of his hands in both of her own. He finally looked away from the moon and at those small hands, and a lap of paint-splattered jeans. "Don't you think we could be happy?"

Sora stared at their hands. He did not know how to answer.

Kairi's voice dipped lower. "Don't you think I would make a good wife?"

Sora finally looked at her face, and it held a desperate, beseeching edge.

"Of course. You're right. I can't just..." His voice faltered, but he renewed with more confidence than he felt. "We have a life together now."

Kairi's eyes softened, and she squeezed his broad, tan hand in her smaller, lighter ones. He gave her a small, sincere smile. "Next spring sound okay?"

She just gave her own gentle smile and leaned forward to capture his lips in a lingering, if somewhat passionless kiss.

* * *

><p>Riku glared at the red-eyed man beside him with as much malice as possible.<p>

"Fuck you," he kicked the stand of his motorcycle down. "Fuck. You."

Vincent's face was impassive, as it had been throughout most of the four years Riku had known him. "I warned you."

"Fuck you," was all Riku said. He was soaked, hungry, and therefore extremely cranky. "You and your cloak. Don't know how you wear that thing without it getting in your face, anyway."

Vincent did not reply. Riku got of his motorcycle and jogged to meet his occasional traveling companion under the awning of the motel, which looked fairly low-budget, though Riku had stayed at worse. He

pulled his shoulder-length silver hair (a deep dull grey, as soaked as he was) over one shoulder and wrung it like a rag. Water cascaded onto the pavement. Vincent hardly blinked.

"This is why you should have worn a helmet," he said, _almost_ chiding the younger man. Riku scowled.

"In this visibility? If I were not a good driver as it was, I'd have crashed. No way I could've seen anything through glass. God, back home..."

Riku paused. Back home it never rained like this, he had started to say. But was that really his home, anymore?

"I've gotten a room for us." Vincent said as they began for the door. "Only one bed, though. It was the only vacancy."

Riku winced. "Wonderful."

* * *

><p>Sora stared at the dark abyss that loomed instead of his ceiling. It should have frightened him, but Sora realised that as he stared, all he saw was nothing. Not Nothing with a capital n, but nothing. As in, there was nothing <em>to<em> see. His fear of the dark that had, only a few months ago, been overwhelming at times, had subsided.

When he had first come home, his parents had thought he was dead. Swept away in a tsunami that had also taken the lives of Kairi and Riku. When Kairi turned up a year later, they had hope, but that faded as all their memories were erased by Naminé's spells. Two years after Kairi's return, Sora was home, and all memories restored. He told them what had happened, had the King beside him the whole time to affirm. And what his parents could not accept from their son, well, how could one reject the word of a giant rodent?

Sora had only heard from the King once since. In the form of a bottled letter, Kairi, Riku, and Sora had read that the crisis being over, the doors between the worlds were once again being locked. And since a Keyblade wielder was no longer required, it was likely that his ability to summon it or cast spells would cease, as would Riku's. The inhabitants of Hollow Bastian had sent their love and well wishes for the future. Kairi had teared up. Sora had not known how to feel. He'd spent more time with those people than he had with Kairi or Riku in the last three years. He would never hear Jiminy retell another adventure, or Goofy attempt to cheer him up, or Donald argue with him. It had never occurred to Sora that he would have to choose between his world and the dozens he had come to know. Or rather, that the choice would be made for him. But the memories would never leave.

Sora lifted a hand in the darkness and flexed it, marveling that even with fully adjusted pupils, his digits were indistinguishable from the dark room. Kairi beside him gave a quiet moan. He let his arm drop to his side again. To celebrate their engagement, Kairi had made dinner. By candlelight they had made love. Afterwards Sora had blown out the candles on the bedside, and Kairi had curled and slept. But he was having no such luck.

He thought of the first time the two had slept together, on the year anniversary of their homecoming. Once back from their adventures, without any official pronouncement, the two had somehow just been together. It was just understood that they now were a couple, and before Sora stopped to consider if this was something he still wanted, three years older and light years further traveled, they were having sex on the beach (how ironic) under the moonlight. It had been pleasant, that first time. Hell, it had never been _unpleasant_. But looking back, it had not filled a void Sora was unconsciously trying to replete.

Riku had left later that week.

* * *

><p>Kairi was dressed in one of his t-shirts, a blue-and-white striped v-neck, already eating a piece of toast with a bit of jam spread over it at the kitchen table. Sora wore his navy sweatpants, drawstrings uneven and untied. She smiled at him and uncrossed her legs before setting down the paper to meet him by the refrigerator.<p>

"Good morning," she said, wrapping arms around his shoulders.

"Good morning," he answered, wrapping an arm around her waist and allowing her to press a chaste kiss to his jawline. "You're up early."

Kairi shook her head as she disengaged from him and then pulled her high ponytail tighter. "You're up late. It's almost ten."

"Oh," he replied. Then he remembered lying in bed, staring into the nothing that was really nothing for hours on end. "I guess I had trouble sleeping,"

"What kind of trouble?" She stopped playing with her hair to look at him carefully.

"Not that kind of trouble," he sighed, moving to grab a coffee mug from the cabinet nearest him. "I haven't had nightmares in months. I'm fine, Kairi. A little insomnia is normal now and then."

"Sorry," she replied. "I just worry."

"I know," Sora said, and then gave her a smile before dropping a kiss onto the top of her red hair. "That's why you're going to make a wonderful wife."

Kairi giggled, and in that moment she was so familiar, just as though Old Kairi had never left. It was just _him_ that was different, Sora thought bitterly.

"We're going to need to plan an engagement party, you know," she sat back at the table and sipped at her own coffee.

Sora groaned as he joined her. "Will I have to wear a suit?"

Kairi laughed. "No, it can be informal, if you like. We can have it here."

Sora nodded. "Good. Let's do that."

"Then there's the registry to consider..." Kairi continued, chewing her bottom lip.

"Registry?" Sora repeated. "We already live together. We don't exactly need anything else."

"No," Kairi agreed. "But most people will insist on getting us something anyway, and I'd rather it be something we like, at least."

"Yeah, well." Sora shrugged.

"And we need to figure out a date."

"Ah fough' we sad nex' spwing," Sora said with Kairi's piece of toast hanging out of his mouth as he looked through the discarded sports section. Sora hadn't much interest in sports outside of the occasional blitzball game with friends, but until Kairi had finished dissecting the rest of the paper, Sora knew he would have to settle. Kairi rolled her eyes and stole her toast back before setting it on its plate.

"Spring has three months, with over ninety days between them," Kairi reminded him.

"April, then." His brow was beginning to furrow. He had not planned on having to give his actual opinion on anything.

"As in 'April showers bring May flowers'?" Kairi arched a brow, setting down the paper to give him a Look.

"Well, jeeze, Kairi, I dunno," he gave her his most desperate face. "Just pick a time and place and I'll show up, alright?"

Kairi rolled her eyes again and lifted the newspaper back to her face. Sora finished his coffee and rinsed his mug at the sink before putting it on the rack to dry.

"Oh, and Sora," Kairi added without looking at him as he wandered towards the door frame, intending on taking a shower before watching television for a while.

"Yes, Dear," he said with an edge of sarcasm that Old Sora would've found pretentious and unnecessary.

"One of us needs to tell Riku."

And by that, Sora knew she meant him.

* * *

><p>Riku was halfway through a loud snore when something small, hard, and plastic collided with his chest.<p>

"WHAT THE FUCK." He sat straight up from his makeshift bed of a comforter and two pillows on the floor. Above him, Vincent shrugged.

"Your phone is vibrating," he said apathetically, and Riku noticed the piece of sky that had landed on his rib was, indeed, his cell phone. He answered without looking at the ID.

"I told you, Ma, I'll call _you_ when I get to Unc... Sora?" This made Vincent look away from the television, which was running some movie on a cable network. Riku frowned at him, and when he did not react, Riku interrupted the familiar voice on the phone. "Hold on, Sora, I've got bad reception in here; let me step outside..." He didn't look at Vincent as he stood and, still shirtless, stepped out into the humid afternoon air. "God, how late is it?"

"Huh? Oh, it's about eleven here..." Sora replied.

"That makes it about two here..." Riku calculated. "Damn, I didn't mean to sleep that late."

"I woke you up? Riku, you lazy bastard." Sora chuckled. Riku smiled.

"Can't believe _you're_ the one calling _me_ lazy," Riku answered. "Anyway, I just use up all my energy being sexy."

"My, you must have changed a lot in the weeks since I've seen you," Sora quipped.

_Not as much as you have, though._ "You call for any reason _other_ than abusing my ego?"

"...Sorry." He heard Sora apologise, and groaned inwardly. Since when was Sora not allowed to just call and talk? _Since you dropped him out of your life._ Riku frowned.

"No, I was kidding. What's up?" He leaned against the door to his room, and belatedly realised he would have to rely on Vincent's mercy to be allowed back in, because he had not brought a key. And

Vincent was not the most merciful of men.

"Well, actually, there is something..." Sora said.

And he told him what it was.

Riku ground his jaw.

"I see." There was a long pause. "Sora, I don't know if I can-,"

"Please, Riku," Sora pleaded. "For Kairi."

Riku sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Just for Kairi, huh?"

"No," a quiet voice admitted at the other end of the line. "Not just for Kairi. I... I miss you, Riku."

Riku heaved another sigh before forcing some enthusiasm. "I'll be there."

"Riku, you don't have to. I mean, I get it, I'll tell Kairi something if you like..."

"Hey." Riku smiled. That aspect of Sora, at least- the one always trying to make everyone happy- had not diminished in the slightest. "Don't worry about it. It'll take me about two days to get there. You guys have a couch for me or am I going to have to go slumming around my mother?"

"Of course, Riku," Sora answered softly. "You always have a home here."

Riku smiled again as he hung up. Sora was a bad liar, but he meant well.

He stared into space for minutes. He hadn't been home in months, and then only for a week or so. He hadn't lived there in years. He had not lived _anywhere_ in years.

Abruptly the surface the was leaning against fell away from him, and Riku fell on his rear at Vincent's feet.

"Was that... Who I thought it was?"

"Not unless you thought it was Sora Hikari, you gossip monger." Riku stood back up gingerly, rubbing the back of his head, and picked up his cell phone, which had flown out of his hand in the process. He set it on top of the television and looked for his t-shirt.

"The same Sora you-,"

"Yeah." Riku said, pulling on a t-shirt. "That Sora."

"And what did Sora want?"

Riku paused, and considered changing the subject, but shrugged. "To invite me to an engagement party."

Vincent's eyes narrowed imperceptibly.

Riku pulled on his shoes and picked up his keys.

"Give my regards to Kimahri, will you?" Riku waved.

"Where are you going?" Vincent asked, already knowing the answer.

"Home," Riku answered, passing Vincent in the doorway. And then, with a sardonic laugh, he added over his shoulder, "I guess."

* * *

><p>Author's Notes:<p>

Yeah, I'm back. This story is already completed, so don't worry about it falling into hiatus like Damaged People (which I still have hopes of reviving, to whom it may concern). I can't proofread anymore and it's Mimi's fault that I am posting tonight so you can thank her for all the typos. Review, please please please please. Next update will be as soon as I can be bothered to proofread another section, so probably within the week.


	2. Chapter 2

Sora had grown to appreciate Tidus and Wakka more as adults than he had as playmates. Tidus had the same superciliousness about him as Riku, but without the reclusion and superiority that compelled Sora to seek him as a rival. Wakka was easy-going and wise. Between them, they could normally diffuse Sora's angst long enough for him to concentrate on putting on a happy face.

Today was no exception. Ever since his conversation with Riku earlier that day, Sora had become increasingly anxious. He had not seen his best friend for more than a week's duration since he had...

Well, it had been a very long time.

Sora slid into a booth for once, neglecting his normal space at the counter of the diner. The other two slid into the opposite side.

"It'll be good to see him again," Wakka was saying as a familiar pink-haired slip of a young woman bounced up to them.

"Can I get you boys something?" She grinned.

"Cheeseburgers and lemonades all around," Tidus said.

"And a strawberry smoothie, please," Sora added with a smile.

"Sure thing," Vanille said. She walked to the counter again, and Sora resumed talking.

"Yeah, it's been so-,"

"BARRET. HEY, BENNY!" Vanille yelled behind them. Sora wheeled his torso around, alarmed.

"What in the hell are you yelling for?" Barret growled, storming out from the kitchen.

"Got an order for ya!" Vanille said cheerfully, holding out an order pad. Barret rolled his eyes and snatched the order away before going back to the kitchen.

"Get me a sammich while you're in there, woman!" Tidus called back to the grumpy chef, and his friends laughed.

"So tell me," Vanille was suddenly back, and shoving Sora with considerable strength into the booth so she had room to sit. "Who are you guys welcoming home?"

"Busybody," Sora muttered, rubbing a shoulder he had hit on the table somehow in the process of being shoved two feet.

"Riku," Wakka answered, while Tidus shot a crumpled ball of the paper the straw came in at Sora, using a spoon as a catapult. Sora's expression did not change as the ball hit his cheekbone, his eyes only narrowed.

"He's the cute one, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sora answered absently, and Wakka and Tidus shared half a glance. "He's coming in the day after tomorrow."

"Goody," Vanille replied, rubbing her hands together. "What's the occasion? Just visiting?"

There was a pause.

"Oh, I guess I forgot to mention..." Sora looked sheepish.

"Relax." Vanille laughed. "Miss Kairi stopped in on her way home. She shared the good news. Congratulations, Sora!" She punched his arm lightly. Sora smiled faintly.

"Thank you."

"So how long will our silver haired nomad be in this time?" It was Tidus who voiced the question. "A day? Half a week, maybe?"

Wakka gave him a warning look that Sora didn't miss, but he chose not to react.

"Probably ," Sora said. "That's when the party is."

"Ooh, party?" Vanille chimed in.

"Yeah, well, kind of. Just a little get together. To celebrate... the engagement." Always _the_ engagement. Never _my_ engagement or _our_ engagement. "You're more than welcome, Vanille."

"I may come," she smiled, and then it turned wicked. "Especially if Riku will be there."

"He will, obviously," Wakka replied. "But I wouldn't get your hopes up, yeah?"

"Why not?" Vanille looked disappointed. This time it was Wakka who received the warning look from Tidus, but Sora was too busy staring out the glass wall he sat next to to notice.

"I just wouldn't," Wakka shrugged.

"He's always on the move," Tidus supplied by way of explanation.

"'Ay! Server girl! 'Not paying you to mingle!"

"Gotta pay someone to do it, you grump, or else you wouldn't have customers," Vanille muttered, and Tidus beamed.

"I like this girl!" He declared. Vanille grinned back at him before leaving the booth and returning with their food. "Especially when she provides food! Good woman."

"I wouldn't," Sora cautioned. "I feel bruises coming up on both arms. And I don't bruise easily."

"Oh, you'll be fine," Vanille huffed. She looked at Sora fully, now. "So are you at all nervous?"

"No. I mean, yeah. It's been forever since I last saw him. And when he left it wasn't on exactly the best of terms... I guess things have been tense since then. But he's my best friend. I mean, there's nothing we can't settle, right? Especially now that we're getting all this time together, and... What?"

There was a lightly awkward pause, in which he realised everyone was staring at him a little strangely.

"I was talking about you getting, married, but I'm glad to hear you're optimistic?" Vanille laughed.

"Oh," Sora took a bite of his food and chewed slowly, thinking. "No, I'm not nervous about that. Should I be?"

Vanille shrugged and smiled. "If you can't come up with a reason to be, I don't see why you should."

Sora nodded. The conversation resumed around him, but he couldn't take part in it. For the rest of the evening, he stared outside at the darkening sky, a similar darkness growing in his thoughts.

* * *

><p>Vincent accepted the call that came to Riku's cell phone that evening, but, not recognising the number, waited to let the speaker identify him (or, as it were, <em>her<em>) self first.

After an awkward pause, a youthful feminine voice asked with motherly concern, "Riku?"

Vincent perceived no threat, but he did not let his guard down. Riku, he knew, had run into some shady characters over the years, and Vincent was not about to let himself get tangled up in the younger man's bar fight vendettas or stalkers' obsessions. "Who is this?"

"Um, I must have the wrong number," the girl apologised.

"No," Vincent turned the volume of the television down and frowned, because she had already hung up. He shrugged and turned the volume back up. Almost immediately, the phone vibrated on the lurid floral bedspread beside him.

"_._" The girl from before said maliciously. Vincent raised a single black eyebrow.

"I haven't done anything to him."

"Liar! Why do you have his phone? EH? EXPLAIN THAT ONE, SMART GUY. I'll call the police, I swear to god I-,"

Vincent rubbed his temples. He already had a headache. "He left his cell phone here on accident. He's not here. He's traveling."

"A likely story." The girl seethed.

"Your name would not happen to be... Sora, would it?" He asked after a moments' thought. Though he could not see it, Kairi's face twisted into a confused countenance.

"No, that's my fiancée...?" It came across as a question. Vincent snorted. If she thought he was a torturer or rapist, she was not doing a good job of defending herself.

"Well, last I heard from him he had spoken to her and was leaving to go 'home'. This was at approximately two in the afternoon Central Island time." Vincent hoped she would not suppose he had just checked Riku's incoming calls to know that; he did not feel like dealing with the police tonight. All he really wanted to be doing, honestly, was watching the end of this horrible drama about a woman who gave birth to her child in a department store.

The girl finally exhaled. "So you haven't heard from him since? You don't know if he's stopped for the night, or if he's alright?"

Vincent almost smiled at the concern in her voice. "Generally, no news from Riku is good news."

"Oh," She sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry to have bothered you, Mr..."

"Valentine." Vincent drawled, bored with the conversation. "Comma Vincent. Riku should be there the morning after tomorrow. Until then, I would not expect him to call, but you may contact me if you need anything at this number. And tell Riku I have his phone,"

"Okay. Maybe I should get your contact info, too, just in case? I mean, I'm assuming Riku didn't leave his charger there, too."

Vincent had the inexplicable urge to throw the bedsheets to the side as he answered, "I do not carry a constant source of communication, and I will not be in this hotel room longer than tomorrow morning."

"You don't have a phone?" The girl asked, clearly perplexed. "Well, okay, I'll just call this number if I have anything I need to tell you, then. And, you know. Sorry about... About yelling, before. Oh. I'm Kairi, by the way." Then, a dial tone as the girl called Kairi disconnected.

Vincent eyed the phone bemusedly before closing it again and throwing it onto the nightstand beside him, slinking down further on the headboard as he turned the volume on the television back up.

* * *

><p>Sora padded barefoot outside onto the patio, wearing a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms and shivering in the abnormally cool summer evening.<p>

"Yeah," he spoke into the telephone receiver, "he should be here tomorrow. I don't know what time. He didn't say. Well, I assume he's either on the road or sleeping now; he'll call if he needs us."

Sora tuned out his mother's voice as he gazed at the stars. They weren't as brilliant as on the smaller islands, away from the city limits and the shopping districts, but his apartment was sufficiently removed to allow a peaceful enough life, and a clear enough sky. He could just make out a constellation of stars that represented, in island lore, the gull that was said to have brought tidings of change to the great Kings of Land when the throne of the sea had changed hands. Change. Sora knew how much he had changed, how much his life had changed. Wondered if Riku had changed since he'd last seen him. Well, he guessed he'd find out one way or another, tomorrow.

Sora realised he'd been ignoring his mother. "Sorry, Mom. Just a bit distracted. Look, kiss Dad for me, okay? I've gotta go. I've gotta..." He felt arms wrap around him from behind.

"Hi, Mrs Hikari," Kairi piped up from beside him. Kairi's mom laughed and then said goodnight. Sora sighed relief before placing a kiss on Kairi's head as she slid to his side before wriggling out of her grasp. Kairi shrugged it off and followed him inside.

"So Riku's coming tomorrow." They'd been avoiding this talk.

"Yeah," Sora agreed, and hung up the phone before walking into the kitchen, obviously still avoiding it.

"You two... Haven't talked much lately." Kairi leaned against the doorway as Sora poured a glass of milk and grabbed a slice of leftover cake.

"What makes you think that?" Sora didn't meet your eyes.

"Are you two going to be okay? Like, I don't want you getting into any fights while I'm gone."

Sora stopped chewing his bite of cake, a piece of chocolate stuck endearingly on his lip. "Gow?" He questioned.

"Yeah," Kairi smiled at his boyish appearance as Sora slowly began chewing again, looking contemplative. "I have to pick up my parents for the party. Dad isn't up to driving so far himself, and mom hasn't driven in years, so... Yeah."

"Oh," Sora said, swallowing and looking distracted. "Well, don't worry; Riku and I are fine."

"No, you're not. You guys don't talk ever since you kissed."

Sora choked violently. Wiping tears from his eyes, he asked, "You knew about that? How?"

"You and he need to make peace this week," Kairi said, ignoring his question. "Especially if he's going to be your best man."

Sora had not considered this. "You're right," he sighed.

"I know," she smiled faintly. "I'll see you in bed?" She left the room, but Sora knew it was more to let him think than any actual tiredness on her part. Sora abandoned his snack and went back onto the patio and stared at the sky. He leaned against the white wooden railing, admiring various patterns in the sky like one would identify shapes on a cloudy day. He longed for it irrationally, that intangible distance that he had dreamed at night of flying through so many times as a child. Before all his dreams became nightmares. Sora's head dropped into his hands. Sometimes, he missed the nightmares. They were, in a way, better than dreaming of nothing at all.

* * *

><p>It was early morning; early enough that everything still had the slightly bluish tint of semi-darkness, and the air smelled of dew even more so than the ever-present salty scent of the ocean. Riku drove over a long bridge, and was suddenly in very familiar territory. He was on the outskirts of his hometown; on the other side of this very city (about a forty-five minute drive, assuming good traffic and no abrupt inclement weather), Riku knew he would find the home of his two best friends. The thought was not comforting. He had long avoided the thoughts of what had last happened between Sora and himself ten months ago, but avoidance worked much better when he was not getting miles closer to facing the erstwhile object of his affections every minute.<p>

Riku was not exactly over Sora, but then, he didn't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, either. When he had first left, the very first time, the boy had been all he could think about; Sora would have said this, Sora could have reminded him that; how was Sora _feeling_, what was Sora _doing_; it had been a trying six months. Riku had called no less than a few times a week back them, just to hear his voice, just to feel some comfort in the short, whispered arguments in which Sora insisted Riku come home, and feel bitter satisfaction as he would taunt his best friend that he would not allow his life become a stagnant travesty, unlike the other boy seemed so keen on. At the time, Sora had not known of the other boy's feelings, but Riku had often reason to wonder if they were not reciprocated. Sure, Sora was with Kairi, _sleeping_ with her, even, but that did not mean he was not fighting feelings for Riku, also. And for a while, Riku felt as though he loved his friend more than ever, and would not be able to stay away. Upon coming home and seeing how close he and Kairi had grown, how they were the quintessential "it" couple around town, referred to no longer as SoraandRikuandKairi, but simply SoraandKairi, Riku had been driven right back out of town within two weeks, leaving not a note to anyone, other than kissing his mother's cheek and whispering a "see ya later". Sora had been devastated, believing at the time Riku had come home for good. That had been two and a half years ago. Riku sighed, and the intake of breath that followed was full of the fog coming off the ocean. It was a purer scent than normal. This was the smallest main island of the chain of over one hundred, and therefore the sea was always the closest. Riku was a rarity even here; his brilliant silver hair never failed to attract, and the early morning commuters who had to travel furthest, usually to the neighbouring island he'd just come from, stared at him from the bus stops and passing vehicles. Helmet laws were not mandatory at his age, but it was times like these he wished he had one to cover his abnormal pallor. Usually he basked in the attention; right now, all he wanted was to melt into the crowd and pretend his life was less complicated than it was.

Riku rolled his eyes at his own thoughts. Feeling sorry for himself was something he both did very well and despised. Was not the point of staying on the move to keep from wallowing?

And yet, he frowned, here he was, coming back at Sora's beck and call, willingly walking back towards the cliff of a slippery slope. One false move and he'd fall over the edge, fall into hopeless adoration that would, at best, leave him as a clandestine Plan B when Kairi proved too decent a person for Sora to deal with.

Riku had, at one time, believed that was why Sora had chosen her over him. Riku had a heart tainted by exposure to darkness, a heart frail enough that _his_ responsibilities had been passed on to Sora, when the Keyblade chose Sora over him. It had been this that resigned him to never having Sora for his own. It would have been easy to convince himself to hate Kairi because of this, because of her artless goodness, so preferable to his own weakness and need to prove himself in all ways superior. It should have been easy to despise Kairi for being able to draw Sora to herself. But Riku had nothing but brotherly affection for the younger woman, whom indeed he had never known anything with an iota of decency to dislike. It was not Kairi's fault she was so perfectly pure-hearted. She was a Princess of Heart, after all. It was to only be expected that she would be the one tether that could ensnare their friend.

Riku's thoughts were interrupted by the startling realisation that he was in their neighbourhood. He cursed himself for not having brought his cell phone, but was fairly certain he remembered which one was their place...

* * *

><p>Sora rolled his eyes as Kairi flew around the kitchen, labeling things with marker on plastic wrap informing him and Riku <em>Do not eat! For party. <em>Or _Dinner tonight- preheat 360 and bake for thirty minutes_.

"Yuh duh know ah cuhn cook, righ'? Sora said through a mouthful of doughnut.

"Don't talk with you mouth full, Dear," Kairi answered without looking, fully dressed and hyped on caffeine as she bent over a casserole dish. "I won't be back until the day before the party, so I had to cook everything ahead of time. _Don't_ eat anything that tells you not to, _especially_ the pie.

Sora blinked. "Did you just say pie?"

Kairi sighed and put her hands on her hips before turning to face him. "Maybe I'll take it with me. I don't trust you."

"Maybe you shouldn't be marrying me, then." He scratched a pectoral muscle lazily as she scowled magnificently. "You packed yet?"

"No," she admitted. "I've been so busy baking that- oh!" A timer went off, and she opened the oven to pull out two delectable-looking pies; paopu, by the smell of them.

"Awesome," Sora declared enthusiastically.

Kairi set the pies on cooling racks. "No," she said sternly. "I've gone through too much in the last twelve hours for you to screw this up."

"Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to pack for you?"

"Would you?" Kairi turned to him, wide-eyed with gratitude. "Oh, baby, _thank _you."

Sora shrugged. "Yeah, just yell if you need any help in here, especially with..." He eyed the pies in a predatory manner.

"I think I hear empty suitcases calling forlornly to be filled," Kairi said, completely deadpan.

Sora was already down the hall, calling as he went, "I think you're mistaking the suitcases with my stomach!"

Five minutes later, Sora heard the motorcycle driving outside before Kairi did. He dropped the blouse he'd folded into the case and walked- _calmly, not ran_- to the front door. Riku didn't bother knocking. Sora was in the doorway to the foyer when Riku opened the door, pulling off a heavy leather jacket and calling, "You kids outta bed, yet? I'm home!"

Sora was unintentionally, abruptly immobilised in the doorway. Riku stopped as soon as he saw the other. They both froze, and stared at each other for three whole seconds.

Riku was as lithe and muscled as ever, Sora decided, and looking decidedly less scraggly than last time he had been around. He wore a blue t-shirt with a large vintage graphic stamped on it, and snug, well-worn, but not to the point of falling apart denim jeans, as well as the same white and black shoes he was usually seen wearing.

Sora, on the other hand, had gown taller and a bit more broad-shouldered. Perhaps this had been true last time Riku had seen him, but it was particularly evident as Sora stood in only his pajama pants, gawking at Riku as though he were seeing a ghost.

Neither moved, and neither blinked. Something angry and passionate clawed up Riku's esophagus and clenched vengefully at his heart, whereas Sora looked lost, and yet, curious. It felt like minutes they stood, wanting to communicate something, but unable to express the faintest emotion, but in reality it was but a few seconds before a reddish blur launched itself into Riku's arms, keening his name in an ungodly pitch. Riku broke his staring match with Sora and looked, startled, at Kairi, who barely came up to his collarbone, before breaking into a soft smile and ruffling her hair.

"No!" She squealed in delight. "Don't mess it up, I haven't got time to straighten it with all the baking I've still got left! Oh, I can't believe you're here! It's been forever, and we've missed you so much, come into the kitchen, tell me about your drive, you worried me sick when I couldn't reach you by phone, I met Vincent by the way, he told me to tell you that he had your..." Riku was again distracted when he noticed his arms again, as abruptly as the first time, filled, this time by a spiky-haired brunette, who was the perfect height to rest his chin on.

"Riku," was all Sora said in a breath, his arms wound around the other's chest as though they were children again and Sora was afraid of a monster in the closet. Riku, ignoring the pains in his chest, wrapped his arms hesitantly around Sora's waist and held him close. He sighed, and then broke away from Sora, giving him the lightest of shrugs before following Kairi into the kitchen. Sora stared after him, an unfathomable expression on his face.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes:<p>

Like it? Spread the word! C2 adds would be lovely.


	3. Chapter 3

Sora frowned as Riku laughed and let Tidus punch him in the arm and Selphie attach herself to his other. Riku and Wakka had always been a little closer than Riku had been with the other two, due to being the two oldest of their circle of friends; they greeted each other with masculine and slightly uncomfortable hugs. They walked to the diner in a pack of five, Tidus and Selphie talking animatedly in either of Riku's ears, who was doing a sporting job of looking less perplexed and annoyed and more amused and amiable, which Sora knew was not his nature. Wakka walked in the rear next to him.

"'S'it still Riku?" Wakka asked quietly, and Sora knew instantly of what he spoke.

"Yeah, it's still Riku," he answered, now looking at a pebble he kicked as he walked along, his hands shoved in his pockets. _He just isn't the same around me._

All Sora had wanted was for their relationship to go back to normal. They'd kissed, yeah. But that had been nearly a year ago. Sora had messed up. But he was about to get married. Could they not just get over it and move on?

And yet, as Sora glanced at Riku rolling his eyes at something Selphie whispered conspiratorially to him, Sora wondered if it weren't _he_ and not the older boy who really needed to "get over it". But then, if that were true, that would hardly explain why Riku was avoiding him. Since Kairi had left that afternoon with an apology to Riku for not being able to spend more time with him, Riku had barely said two sentences to him. He'd hung around on Sora's couch, eating his food, watching his television, which was almost like old times except every time Sora made a stupid joke about a subplot or a weak protagonist, Riku would make a noncommittal half-laugh half-hum that bespoke of not wanting to participate in the conversation. Sora had eventually given up, declaring that the movie on channel seventeen, if Riku had not yet seen it, was actually pretty good. They sat in silence until Tidus had called Sora, asking when Riku would be in. Sora had mutely handed the phone to Riku, who had raised a silver eyebrow before subjected to a hyperactive blonde crow with excitement and ask him to meet them at The Avalanche Diner in an hour. Riku had placed his hand over the receiver and asked Sora, startling the brunette, who had tuned out of the conversation darkly, staring at the screen instead, if it was okay with him. Sora had stared at Riku, who had, again, shrugged, which Sora wanted to replicate sarcastically, but was unable to. Instead he'd grinned and said it was a great idea, better than hanging around and being bored here, right? He had pretended nothing was going on, because obviously it was Riku's issue, and if Riku wanted to ignore him... Well, Sora supposed he had every right to, after all.

"Whatsa matter with you two, then?" Wakka queried, fingers calmly laced behind his head as they paced behind the more animated trio. So he had noticed the lack of communication; the uncommon distance between them as they walked; the fact that Sora was not shoving either Selphie or Tidus away and claiming one side of his best friend.

"Dunno," Sora sighed. "I think..." Sora bit his lip and shrugged, smiling. Wakka arched a pair of red eyebrows at him and allowed Riku to hold the door for him. Riku rolled his eyes at Sora and let the door close, and Sora grabbed it for himself, sighing under his breath, "Why do you hate me?"

* * *

><p>Riku held the door for Selphie, as was his breeding, and before he could follow, Tidus had waltzed in laughing out a compliment and Wakka had breezed by. Riku looked to Sora as if to say, "Kids, right?" But Sora looked at him darkly and didn't reply. Riku ground his jaw, knowing he'd been hard on Sora with the silent treatment before. But really, what could be said, when all Riku wanted to do, even years later, was...<p>

"Why do you hate me?" Sora whispered to his back, and Riku paused, not certain he'd heard correctly. He turned curiously to Sora, who was not making eye contact with him, and made to go sit with their friends.

"What did you say?" Riku asked, placing a restraining hand on Sora's forearm. Sora, taken aback, looked at Riku's hand- the first form of physical contact they'd had since that morning- and then at Riku's face.

"I didn't say anything," Sora said, hoarsely, trying to cover it up with a cheery smile. "C'mon, everybody's wai-,"

"Is that what you think?" Riku interrupted, his voice pained. Sora's smile faltered, and he did not know _how_ to look. "You think I-,"

"Sora! Riku! We're over here!" Selphie called before Tidus and Wakka shushed her. Riku snorted in annoyance, but when he turned Sora was already removing himself from Riku's grasp and walking over to the rest of the crowd, a vaguely familiar buoyant pink-haired girl meeting him along the way with an order pad and pen at the ready. She gave Sora a warm hug, and Riku, despite himself, pursed his lips. The girl noticed him and grinned, waving at him. Sora turned to look back at Riku. Riku blinked. No. Surely not. He was a few feet away, after all, maybe he had seen wrong, but...

No, as he drew nearer, there was no mistaking the slightly mocking smirk Sora wore at Riku's expression. Sora ordered for everyone, and then slid into the empty half of the booth. Riku slid in next to him, a little more than bemused. Since when did Sora acknowledge his feelings, let alone toy with them? The girl came back, passing out smoothies Sora had ordered everyone, and Riku decided, on the spot, that _two_ could play this game. As she handed Riku a glass, he let his fingers brush over hers. Riku could not gauge Sora's reaction without turning around to look, but he was certain the girl, whose name he noticed on a name tag as Vanille, noticed the somewhat unnecessary contact. He smiled at her invitingly in reply to a confused look. Her voice squeaked a little as she asked for their orders. Riku chuckled, and felt something warm stir inside when he was able to sneak a glance at an unamused Sora in the periphery once she had gone away again.

Wakka did not like what he was seeing, and decided to put a stop to it immediately. "Are you done, ya? You can quit playin' with her any time you want."

"She was kind of interested in you a few months ago," Selphie added, looking thoughtful.

Riku was abashed, but true to his character, covered it up with aggression. "Who says I'm not?"

"Just stop," Tidus said, sounding a lot more grown up than he had ever been while Riku had known him. That was really what made Riku shut up. He didn't dare look at Sora now.

"So Tidus and Selphie are engaged," Sora said casually, as though nothing had happened, breaking the tense moment. Riku sighed in relief as everyone relaxed back into conversation. The rest of the afternoon went without incident. Vanille eventually sat down next to Riku and joined in their conversation, and Riku found himself getting along with her. Her buoyancy recalled Sora's hyperactive years, which brought back fond memories. But, looking over at Sora now- chiseled jawline; thin, somewhat short frame; relaxed posture; slight, content smile; a little sadness in his eyes, a lot more wisdom- Riku decided he preferred the finished product, damages and all.

Eventually, hours later, it came time for everyone to go home. Sora's classes were over for the summer, but Selphie still had an exam in the morning, and Tidus was "required" to be there to help her study. Wakka had a date with his recent girlfriend- a dark-haired goth girl Sora knew vaguely and had heard called Lulu. They left all together, hugging by the door. While everyone else was caught in a last minute conversation, Vanille turned to Riku.

"So how long are y' in town for?"

"Oh, I don't know," Riku said, realising he had not thought about it. "I guess I'll leave after the party."

Her face fell somewhat, but Vanille continued with more conviction. "So while you're in town we should hang out."

"Uh, sure. I'll see what evening Sora can-,"

"I meant," she interrupted, "Just you and me."

"Oh," Riku said, swallowing. He had turned down the flirtation immediately after being called out by his friends, but apparently Vanille obviously had not observed his changed behaviour as that drastic. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "I, er. Sorry. It's not you. I... don't date."

"Oh." Vanille blushed. "That's fine. Um, I think I have to go... Check on... Something," she wandered away back into the kitchen, and Riku exhaled heavily. When he turned, Sora was the only person left, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up." Riku growled, brushing past him and walking outside into the evening air. He felt horribly.

"I didn't say anything." Sora pointed out behind him. Riku knew him well enough to see without looking the smile he wore. He was glad Sora was amused, Riku thought spitefully. But Riku knew himself how many women over the years had been turned down in the same manner, and for the same damn reason.

* * *

><p>Riku didn't know how long he had been in love with Sora. Long before he had kissed him, long before he had been saved from the darkness by him, long before they'd left the islands, long before their pseudo-rivalry for Kairi's attentions (really, he'd just wanted Sora to pay attention to him), long before Kairi had even arrived. He'd always just known, somewhere, simultaneously, that he not only cared about Sora more than anything, but that Sora loved everything equally and without restraint. Riku would never possess the same hold on Sora that the younger boy had on him. And yet, it seemed Kairi had been able to.<p>

Riku sighed as he tossed and turned in the guest bed, settling on his side towards the wall with one leg outside the covers, one hand under the pillow, the other pulled in closely to his chest. He listened to rain fall on the roof. It had caught Riku and Sora on the way home, completely out of nowhere. Sora had gasped, wide-eyed, looking so much like the younger Sora who would be amazed by gulls landing within five feet of him on the beach or by crabs scuttling by into the ocean no matter how many times he'd seen it happen before, and even Riku was utterly bemused; Riku could count the number of times it had rained in all the years he had lived on this island on two hands. Still, he knew, it wasn't _completely_ unheard of, especially in the early summer season. Yet, though Riku normally found himself calmed by the gentle pattern of rain that he'd become accustomed to in his years away from his home, he could not settle.

He rolled back towards the door, noting a light, calming rumble of thunder. He was tired of thinking, and dwelling, and convincing himself to be happy for his friends. He closed his eyes and deepened and steadied his breathing. Slowly, he began to drift...

A crash of thunder aroused him from the in-between stage of consciousness and sleep. Riku groaned; it was as though the very _weather_ was against him getting any sleep that night. A bolt of lightening crashed, and even Riku, the ever-calm, cringed.

A soft knocking came at his door before it cracked open. "Riku?"

_Of course,_ Riku realised. Sora's nightmares.

Traversing the worlds had damaged Riku, but it had destroyed Sora. His personality had, back when they finally came home, been much the same as ever before, but Sora was jumpier; more volatile and likely to react to a slight noise or peripheral movement. His post-traumatic stress had manifested itself most prominently in night terrors; hardly a night went by those first few months when Sora did not wake up his whole house- usually including Riku, who could not stand to be separated from Sora for more than a few hours at a time in those days- with his screaming and thrashing. It had eventually receded, Riku knew, but there were triggers still. One of them, apparently, was a late-night storm that mirrored the circumstances of that fateful night, years ago, that the Heartless had attacked the Destiny Islands.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," Riku said, sitting up. Sora didn't move from the doorway, though, and did not turn on the light. Riku sat up, staring unseeingly at where he knew the door was. Thunder crashed loudly. Sora let out an undignified squeak, and Riku heard something drop to the floor. It would have been amusing, Riku thought, if it were not so pathetic. Riku moved the comforter out of the way and stood, walking over towards Sora. He knelt on the floor next to the other boy, who had pushed open the door in his crumpling. Now Sora was huddled against the wall just inside the room, trembling violently.

"Hey," Riku said soothingly, rubbing circles into Sora's back. "Calm down. You're going to have me freaking out, here," he joked weakly. Riku could just make out Sora nodding, but he did not stop shaking. Sighing, Riku sat against the wall beside Riku, and with surprisingly little effort, managed to haul the other to sit between his legs, Sora's back against his chest. He wound arms around Sora's stomach, telling himself all the while it was only to try and soothe Sora's convulsions. Sora did not protest, and even leaned in to Riku, as though seeking reinforcement. Riku wanted to dip down and kiss Sora's shoulder; knew how easy it would be, and that Sora would be in no state to register, much less argue with the action. But he held himself rigid, and instead concentrated on his breathing.

"Just inhale when I do, and exhale at the same time, okay?" He whispered into Sora's ear. Sora nodded, tickling Riku's nose with spiky hair. "Okay, here we go."

Riku breathed deeply. Sora mirrored. The thunder and lightening continued outside, periodically setting Sora's heart rate spiking again, but Riku stayed with him, maybe an hour, maybe longer, relaxing him; holding him. Eventually, Sora's laboured breathing steadied, and his flight impulse lessened. The adrenaline gone, he was left feeling cumbersome and ashamed.

"Sorry," he muttered as a very distant rumble of thunder faded away into the late night. Riku only shook his head and shushed him. There was a long silence. Riku did not make an effort to move, and Sora did not ask him to stop holding him. They both just waited. Sora startled the older by saying quietly, but clearly, after a moment, "I hate being like this, Riku."

"I know, Sora," Riku sighed, unsure of how to console him. To say that he had not minded would have been true, but the sentiment was less altruistic than all that would have implied. Yet with Sora so broken, he could hardly say, "Well, time to go back to sleep. See you in the morning." Instead, he stood up, hefted Sora into his arms (he was strangely light, as though all his bones were hollow), and carried him to the bed. After a moments hesitation, he crawled in next to him. Sora scooted closer to the wall to make room. When Riku had settled, however, he cautiously pressed closer to the other, so close they could see the colours of each others eyes in the proximity to the window on the wall by the bed. They stared at each other in that manner. Riku felt a hesitant hand first seek out his own and entwine its fingers with his, They did not break eye contact.

"Sora," Riku breathed. "You know... We're going to have to talk about this. What _this_ is. It's not just going away,"

Riku expected, based more on what he would do than what he thought Sora's reaction would be, for Sora to play dumb or reject the idea that they would ever acknowledge the moment again. Fortunately, all Sora said was, "I know," before letting his eyelids drip over his eyes. Riku edged closer, pressing his forehead lightly against Sora's. They were both for that moment widely awake, so close, heavy warm exhalations mingling with inhalations, but soon Sora fell asleep. And Riku was not surprised to realise he was quickly following the same path.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Riku woke up alone. The light from the window fell on the bed in strips of light from behind curtains and blinds, and Riku stared at the spot of immaculately clean ivory linen, iconic in such a comfortable suburban home, and wondered what he was getting himself into. Sora was engaged, but there had been a definite amorous undertone to his seeking refuge during the storm last night. So, again, Riku reiterated in his mind, what was he getting himself into? Well, there was one was to find out.<p>

Riku rolled out of bed and stretched, moving calmly despite the anxiety gnawing gently in his ribcage. The room he was staying in looked like the cover of a magazine; the decorations were relaxing without being bland or stale. The walls were light turquoise with a white molding, and colourful photographs of the beach- likely taken by a local photographer, if not Kairi herself- framed in oak and hung in a collage formation. The floor was also oak, with a large white woven rug at Riku's feet. It looked like a home should look, but it felt almost forced. Kairi and Sora were not this room. They were caring, active, vibrant people; this room was all cozy normalcy and settling. Riku went to the window; saw that the morning was already bright; the pavement outside already dry in patches. Riku grabbed a toothbrush from his small travel bag and walked into the adjacent guest bathroom. Riku frowned at the mirror. His hair was bent irregularly and there was an unsightly bruise on his forehead from weeks bygone. But, for once there were not dark circles under Riku's aquamarine eyes. Finished brushing his teeth and splashing water on his face, Riku went sock-footed down the hallway into the kitchen, glancing at pictures on the walls as he went. He was pleasantly surprised to notice many were pictures of the three of them. He slipped into the kitchen and was startled so see Sora, fully dressed, zooming around the kitchen not unlike a bumblebee.

"Morning!" Sora chirped, and Riku lifted an eyebrow and said nothing. Sora continued blithely, "I've made eggs and biscuits and gravy and sausage and I know you don't like grapefruit but I think you should eat some because I think you probably don't eat any fruits or vegetables when you're gone and it'll compromise your immune system and I would hate for you to die due to influenza when you have a perfectly good motorcycle you never wear a helmet on and why are you still standing? I put a plate on the the table for you. Now we have milk, orange juice, grape juice, apple juice, and I assume you want some coffee. I don't think we have any strawberry jam but we _do_ have blackberry and grape (I can never remember which is your second favourite so I'll just put them both out and you can help yourself, although I recommend the blackberry because my mom made it and it's really freaking good) and the paper should be on the counter, oh, well, I don't know if you read the paper but Kairi and I have made it a habit but she's not here today which means I get the front section first today, you can have sports."

Riku had mutely sat down and prodded his breakfast thoughtfully during this rant. Was it just him, or was Sora intentionally not giving him the opportunity to talk?

"Sora, how long have you been up?" Riku nibbled a forkful of lukewarm eggs.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe an hour or two. What did you say you wanted to drink?"

"I hope that grapefruit half is for you," Riku said, eyeing the plate Sora set by him with distaste, but reluctantly added, to appease the other, "but I'll take orange juice."

"Good boy," Sora made as though to pat Riku's head like a dog, but mid-motion seemed to think better of making any physical contact at all and instead poured Riku a rather large glass of orange liquid. He placed that down and then sat himself down, before seeming to abruptly remember something and leaping to a cabinet to grab coffee mugs.

"You still take it with just sugar?"

"Black, actually," Riku said calmly, although internally bewildered at Sora's energy. Sora placed to mugs on the table, grabbed the paper from the counter, and made himself very busy with the paper after establishing Riku had no interest. They ate, the silence stark and shocking to Riku's ears after Sora's constant babbling. Riku finished and took the dishes to the sink and rinsed them, and while Sora followed with his own, Riku lingered at the counter near the sink, leaning on it, facing the room and looking at Sora out of the corner of his eye.

"So, I guess we're not talking about last night now." Riku surmised without preamble. Sora wiped his hands on a dish towel and then turned to Riku, his eyes wild and desperate.

"No, not right now. I will later, I promise. I just... Not right now, okay?"

"Did something happen?" Riku asked, looking concerned now, and facing Sora. He was a lot closer than he had realised being.

"No," Sora said hastily, taking a step backwards. "I just can't... Not right now. And anyway," He brightened, and Riku knew he was pretending they hadn't just had that half-a-conversation, "we have somewhere to be!"

"Do we?" Riku played along, disappointed but in high enough spirits, regardless. Really, had he expected anything different?

"Yes," Sora said, visibly relieved that Riku was not pursuing the previous topic further. "We've been invited to hang out at the beach for a while. Tidus and Wakka are ditching the girls. Guys' only day!"

"That sounds vaguely homo-erotic," Riku said with a level of interest in his voice, and Sora couldn't help but laugh.

"Riku," he said, "I don't know what to do with you."

"Well, if you're really at a loss I have a couple of sugge-," Sora threw the other half of the grapefruit, still on the counter, at Riku's head. Riku dodged easily.

"Go get dressed, perv," Sora said firmly, but there was a corner tugging at his mouth that made Riku's heart expand to fill up his entire chest.

"I don't know if I can do it on my ow... Okay, okay!" The same piece of grapefruit flying very close by his ear had Riku putting his hands up in a sign of surrender and walking away, presumably to go change.

Sora sighed and threw away the erstwhile airborne grapefruit. He was leading Riku on without meaning to. How was he going to tell his best friend that he wanted him, but could not be with him?

* * *

><p>Sora collapsed on the light blue, heavily cushioned sofa, laughing so hard he was holding his stomach. Riku himself smiled, sitting more gently and leaning back, continuing his anecdote.<p>

"And then, Reno's telling Rude, 'Dude, look, I can't go _anywhere _right now, this dye has to be in for another three hours or else it'll be fuckin' _pink_,' and you know Rude isn't going with that, because of everything he did to get those Materia tickets. They're pretty much his favourite band. And Reno doesn't even care, he's like, 'well, you shouldn't have tried to surprise me with them,' and, of course, Rude is like, 'I _didn't_. I told you about this _two weeks ago_.'" Riku illustrated the darkening tone by chopping the air with his forearm and hand rigid in short, punctuating movements, while his other arm was slung on the back of the couch. Sora continued guffawing indelicately. He was a little tipsy, but not heavily; they both had lost a little of their standoffish reserve and hesitance, and are just enjoying each other's company. The day had been a nice one; picnicking and bathing on the beach, catching up, and eventually Wakka had gone for beers. They had drunk to the failing sunlight and being together again; no one had mentioned Sora's engagement once, and Riku had realised he had not felt so completely at ease in years. On the walk back, Riku and Sora had chattered without awkwardness, and Riku had begun recounting episodes from his months abroad.

Sora's uproarious laughter subsided into laconic chuckles, and eventually he simply rolled his head back on the edge of the sofa, brown spikes grazing Riku's extended arm, and smiled beatifically at him. The atmosphere changed completely. Riku's own smile faltered in wonderment. He reached a little further without thinking, and ran his hand through Sora's hair.

Sora did not react more than to look at the hand curiously, before bringing his own to it and pulling it down from his head. He surprised Riku, however, by not letting it go, and examining it instead. Riku was, as always, paler than Sora, but slightly browned as was unavoidable in so much exposure to the sun. Sora's hands were lightly freckled on top of being darker, and fingers less proportionally long than Riku's. His nails were stubbier whereas Riku had unintentionally let his grow a little longer than necessary. Riku's hands were also more calloused and rough from gripping the handlebars of the motorbike. Riku flexed his hand in Sora's, streching, and the sudden motion caused Sora to drop the hand like it had burned him. Riku stared at him, hard.

"Why?" He asked. "Why her? Why not me?"

Sora laughed harshly and continued staring at his lap, running a hand through his hair. "You think you gave me much of a choice?"

"Damn straight I did," Riku countered. "I kissed you. And you... Rejected me."

"You didn't give me enough time," Sora insisted. "I couldn't just... I had to get away. And by the time I was ready to talk, you were gone again. Like always."

"But it was before that. You... Slept with her."

"Well, what did you expect me to do?" Sora finally started getting frustrated and looked at Riku before standing up to face him. "I was so lost back then. I needed _something _to make the emptiness go away... And everyone seemed to expect it."

"But why _her_?" Riku reiterated. "I loved you!"

"Because I finally had you back, you idiot!" Sora yelled, turning and putting his hands on his hips in a familiar move. "I finally had you back. And I could risk Kairi,because I knew she would never... I couldn't risk... Losing you."

"Sora..." Riku felt suddenly amazed. Had Sora loved him back, all this time? He got up and moved behind the other, wrapping his arms around his waist. Sora leaned in, and there was a peaceful moment.

Then Sora broke away.

"You don't get it, do you?" He asked lowly. "It's too late for this, Riku."

"Why? Because of Kairi?" Riku's voice was challenging.

"No," Sora replied, equally fierce. Then his shoulders slumped a little as he admitted, "Maybe a little. I don't... I'm not _in_ love with her. But I love her. But even if she weren't part of the picture, there is no 'us', Riku."

"Sora..." Riku was at a loss. He just wanted to bring Sora to him, bridge whatever chasm he had managed to cause between them, but when he stepped closer Sora instantaneously stepped backwards. "Don't you... Trust me?"

Sora looked at him incredulously. "_Trust_ you? You're kidding me, right?"

Riku blanched, but became angry. "Really? You still hold _that_ against me? I took a fucking laser to the leg for you; hurt like a _bitch_, and I helped you kill that bastard, did I not? And-,"

"What do you want, a trophy?" Sora interrupted, and his tone was heavy in a way Riku had never heard it. "Yeah, you saved my life, you saved the world. Bravo. Thanks a lot. But you're forgetting something."

"What, Sora? What have I done that is so goddamned horrid that you don't even trust me anymore?"

"You left."

Riku's defenses collapsed.

"You left, and you never came back. And every time you left I had to wonder when I would ever see you again. You're right; you fought with me against Xemnas, and I couldn't have beat him without you. And I would trust you with my life. But you keep running away from _me_, and I don't think that you know how to stop. And I would never trust you with my _heart_."

"So that's it. That's what you think of me." Riku sighed. Sora didn't answer, just stared back at him. Riku shook his head. "I'll be back for the party. I'll get my stuff then."

He left the room, and Sora heard the front door open and close, and he made no move to stop him.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: Thank you to the lovely people who take the time to review. I'm not in this story for the feedback, but it definitely makes my day to see people enjoy it. Please continue to recommend it to your friends, and possibly to the C2 archive owners, if you think it's worth sharing. Anyway, until next time, love you all bigly.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Sora had barely moved from the guest bedroom since Riku had left. He didn't know why he didn't curl up in his own bed, but somehow he felt like he would be corrupting the place where he and Kairi were supposed to be a family by wallowing in despair over another man. Riku's scent- all ocean air and aftershave- still clung to the pillows. He turned them over and slept on his back, but snuggled into the covers deeply, remembering sleeping next to him just two nights ago, pressed closer than he would ever have wanted to be to Kairi. The solution would have been simple, to some: go after him! But Sora knew better. Everything he had said was true. Riku was a vagabond, now; he had always been restless as a child, and now that he had had a taste of freedom, no bond- love or hatred or guilt or curiosity- could bind him to one spot longer than a few months at best. It was hard enough watching him as a friend; as a lover, it would be excruciating. All Sora could do was to try to make a home for _himself_, try to distract his worrying with obligations and friends and family and mediocrity.

It would never be enough, Sora knew. But it would have to be, anyway.

* * *

><p>Kairi came home the evening before the party.<p>

"Sora! I'm home! Where's Riku, his motorcycle isn't outside... Sora?"

Sora did not move from the bed.

A minute later, Kairi found him.

"Sora?" She repeated. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Sora lied. He felt dead, so he could not possibly be awake.

"You okay, baby? Sick?" Kairi looked concerned, and sat at the edge of the bed.

"No," he muttered, staring unblinkingly at the white ceiling.

"Okay, well. Good. Where's Riku?" She repeated.

"Gone," Sora whispered. Then, more audibly. "Probably at his mother's. We had a fight."

Kairi found his hand and held it in both of hers. "What about?"

"Being in love," Sora said simply.

"Ah," Kairi nodded, understanding. "It's not easy. Is he angry about the engagement?"

Sora considered. "I guess so. More that I love him back, I think."

"You probably shouldn't have told him." Kairi said sadly. "He's going to hold it against you, you know."

"I know." Sora answered. "Where're your parents?"

"At the hotel." Kairi said soothingly.

"I'm sorry they came all this way for nothing."

"What do you mean?" Kairi sounded, for the first time, surprised.

"We're not getting married, Kai." Sora realised it was true as he said it. He sat up and looked her in the eyes. "We're not even in love."

Kairi didn't argue the point. "So what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. But I'm sure as hell not staying here."

A voice from the door interrupted them. "I know some people,"

"Who are you?"

"He's a friend," Kairi said calmly to Sora.

"I can give them a call, if you would like."

Sora thought it over. Kairi obviously trusted him, so it couldn't be too dangerous. And it would be better than hanging around here, seeing everyone's disappointed when they broke the news of the broken engagement.

"Yeah," Sora said, standing up. "I'd like that."

* * *

><p>Riku burst in the door to Kairi and Sora's apartment.<p>

"Kairi, where the hell is that idiot, Tidus just came by and-," He halted in the doorway to the kitchen. The scene before him was so opposite the grim, tear-soaked faced Kairi surrounded by angry parents sitting around in silence, that Riku knew not what to say, other than, "What the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"It's an apron," Vincent almost seemed... Defensive? And indeed, it was an apron. A small, white, ruffled apron, at that, embroidered with a pink calligraphic K over the heart.

"I lent it to him!" Kairi said cheerfully, waving a rolling pin covered in flour. She was wearing a flower-printed apron, although it looked more, at this point, like a flour-printed one. There was a smudge of flour on her right cheek as she beamed at him. "We're baking cookies!"

"Baking..." Riku sat down heavily on one of the chairs Kairi had moved so she would have better access to the table. "...Cookies. What are you even _doing_ here?"

Vincent pulled a cell phone out of the pocket of his black jeans and threw it to Riku, who caught it deftly without looking. "Your phone."

"You could've just mailed it," Riku's tone was more accusatory than grateful.

"Didn't know how long you'd be here." Vincent shrugged. "You never told me Sora was a man."

"Never told you he was a woman, either," Riku shrugged, still bewildered, as Kairi began using an inverted glass covered in flower as a cookie cutter.

"You let me assume as much," Vincent answered.

"Is it a problem?" Riku challenged. He knew it wasn't, Vincent was just making an observation, but he felt defensive and out of his element.

"If it was I would not associate with Rude and Reno," Vincent pointed out. Riku sighed and slumped forward, nodding.

"So, where did he go?"

Kairi and Vincent looked at each other uneasily.

"We promised not to tell." Kairi explained, wiping her hands on her apron and walking around the table to put a comforting hand on Riku's shoulder. "He said he needs time."

"So that's it? I just... Wait around?" Riku looked as defeated as Vincent had ever seen him. Kairi was unsympathetic.

Riku launched away from her as she swatted his head. She glared. "You will do no such thing. Sora _thinks_ he needs to be alone, but he needs you to bring him _home_."

Riku rubbed his head and frowned at her. "But you won't tell me where he is."

"Nope," she answered, arms akimbo. "Partially because I don't know."

"I told him I have a few friends who could help him out on the road," Vincent supplied. "Mentioned a few names. Pretty much anyone who owes either of us a favour."

"That could be any of two dozen people!" Riku threw his arms out in frustration. "All scatted over one-hundred twenty-two islands!"

"Look," Kairi looked apprehensive. "I promised not to tell. But Sora mentioned something about going North. He just told me in case we didn't hear from him within a few weeks, so we could give the police a heads up. But don't _tell_ him that I told you, or else he'd have my head."

Riku sighed and ran a hand through his hair, mentally counting off the possible people who he could have been sent to meet. The list had been cut down, but there were still at least seven people Sora could have gone looking to stay with.

"He took my motorcycle," Vincent mentioned off-handedly. Riku shook his head.

"I didn't even know he knew _how_ to ride a motorcycle."

"Maybe you should start thinking about what else you may not know about Sora," Kairi suggested, now sounding stern. "He's not the same kid you knew."

"I know he's not," Riku objected. Kairi didn't push it.

"Do you need anything before you go? Lunch?"

Riku shook his head. "I'm half a day behind him already, if rumours are true," it came out as a question, and Kairi confirmed with a nod.

"He left last night."

"Okay, I better go, then." He paused in the doorway, looking back.

"You need me to call someone to come get you, Valentine?"

Vincent shook his head. "I'll deal with it."

Riku left.

The two resumed their baking, silent, both thinking deeply.

"Riku has mentioned Sora before." Vincent said after a while. "He came back after the last visit in bad shape. I asked him what was wrong."

Kairi nodded thoughtfully, her hair cast over her face as she rolled out the cookie dough again. "That was when Riku kissed him. I saw it happen. I didn't mean to. He was saying goodbye, and, I don't know. It was almost like he slipped. In fact, I thought he had for a moment. But it was definitely a kiss. And Sora..."

"...Rejected him," Vincent surmised, but Kairi shook her head.

"No. Not at first. At first..." Her voice trailed away, and when she continued, her voice had an odd, dreamlike quality to it, as though she were speaking from miles away. "It was a lovely evening. The sky was black, no hint of blue or clouds. Like someone had adjusted its opacity to zero percent. And stars were _everywhere_. You could see the swirls of the dust of the galaxies- all that. The air was warm, and fireflies were dancing everywhere. And I had gone inside, because at the end of the day, Riku and Sora are best friends more than either will ever be with me. They've been together since Sora was born. Anyway, I was coming out to comfort Sora because he always is so upset when Riku leaves, but Riku wasn't gone yet. It was at Sora's, before we moved here, and I was looking through the glass door of the back yard, where Riku's motorcycle was pulled in. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but both of them looked sad. And suddenly, they were kissing. And I don't mean, Riku was kissing Sora, they were kissing each other. And then it stopped as soon as it started, and I then I moved from the door, because I didn't want to look like a snoop. But Sora came in less than two minutes later, and he looked- I mean, he always was heartbroken when Riku left. But this time, he looked, I don't know. Like he was empty. And I never really had the courage to ask what happened. But Sora went to bed with me like always, so I figured they'd decided it wouldn't work. But I always knew, back in my head, even if I couldn't admit it, that they had something that I couldn't, _wouldn't_ if I _could_, ever touch."

Vincent listened quietly. Finally, he asked her, "Did _you_ ever love Sora, then? The way Riku loves him?

Kairi laughed, and Vincent noticed the spots of moisture darken the dough below her face, and he realised she was crying. "Of course I was in love with him." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, and then added, "I was in love with _both_ of them."

Vincent nodded. "You understand that if Riku ever realises you planned all of this..."

Kairi grinned at him through her tears. "Well, he'll never find out, right? Or else I'll just have to tell him who my biggest helper was."

"It was mostly your idea." He grumbled. She didn't answer. The silence was companionable as she continued making the cookies.

* * *

><p>It was raining. More than that, the wind was tearing at him, lightning flashing like a threat. Sora laughed. It was all so goddamn ironic. The maelstrom, and all its dark symbolical connotation. He was supposed to be starting anew, getting away from the sadness and anger that had built up in his home, and here was the weather, the <em>sky<em>- condemning him. Sora could not be deterred. He sped up, and dared the storm to mess with him. It wasn't entirely sane. But then, what about his life was sane, anymore?

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: Sorry for the short chapter; should've divided it better. Next update will be longer. Thank you to my reviewers, and to the lurkers. Love you all.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Riku crashed onto the standard floral bedspread in his hotel room. A month, now. Searching high, low. Now, he was on his way to Kadaj's place, the second to last of any of the possible contenders. It had been a long four weeks, chasing after any rumour of a blue-eyed, brown-spiked man wearing a crown pendant. These reported sightings were few and far between- a diner customer; a one-night stay at an inn; someone looking to use a phone- and none of them had a name attached. Riku figured that even if he _heard_ a name at some point, it was unlikely to be Sora's; the man clearly did not want to be found, and was likely to take all precautions to circumvent that eventuality. Kairi had heard from him, but he had not told her where he was, or if he intended staying. For all Riku knew, Sora could have started heading west or doubled back. But Riku felt his only option was to continue visiting old acquaintances, and making them promise to call if they heard anything. Eventually, he was sure to find something. Right?

* * *

><p>The Jenova brothers had never been Riku's favourite of people. Kadaj in particular, the seeming 'leader' of their trio, had a way about his vicious sarcasm and virulent criticism that left the acidic taste of desperation lingering like bile in the back of Riku's throat. Riku hoped like hell Sora had not come here, of all places.<p>

But when he had called ahead to ask, Kadaj had told him about information he had which Riku might be interested. All he asked was that Riku come by and visit. It had been so long, after all, he had heard Kadaj say with an audibly feral grin. Riku had hung up without answering. Both of them knew Riku would come. Both of them knew Riku would do anything to get Sora back.

He arrived at the apartment building a little after dusk, and hoped that the appointment would not last long. Kadaj and his brothers lived on a notoriously seedy island; a tourist destination for its loose prostitution and gambling laws. The brothers owned a bar in town, which is where Riku had met them. Following his rejection from Sora, Riku had a stint with alcoholism that he had never let anyone, including Vincent, know about. And, being as unused to alcohol as he was, Riku had a tendency to talk when drunk. Talk a lot. And apparently, that talk had involved Sora, because before he had spent more than a week on the island those months ago, Kadaj's brother, Yazoo, was quoting back conversations he'd not remembered having. And what one brother knew, all three knew.

Which was how they had already known about Sora before he came to them.

Riku was guided to an old, threadbare sofa, where Yazoo sat next to him, a little too close for comfort. Kadaj sat across, leaning back with legs crossed and long fingers steepled; behind him Loz stood smirking, looking like the typical thug, his arms crossed haughtily to go along with a disdainful smirk.

"It's been a while, brother." Kadaj smiled. Riku rolled his eyes, though slightly unnerved. Kadaj had picked up the nickname due to their similar rare hair colour, but the eerie vibe Riku got from being around these brothers made Riku very glad he was not a fourth to their demented triple.

"Yeah, well." Riku felt like making a snide remark, but felt it unwise, considering the position he was in. "How's business?"

"Oh, _fine_," Kadaj crooned. "Business is just _fine_."

Riku nodded while the brothers continued to smirk at him condescendingly. And if Riku was not mistaken, Yazoo had moved much closer than even before; their knees were lightly touching. But Riku displayed an impassive front through an awkward (in his opinion, at least) silence.

"Can I get you anything, brother?" Kadaj offered, interrupting the silence so suddenly that Riku jumped. Loz laughed at him outright.

"No, nothing," Riku growled, "Except what I came here for."

"Oh, must you be so insistent? You've only just arrived, Riku." Kadaj continued to speak for his brothers, his face not shifting emotions at all.

"I'm sorry," Riku ground out. "I'm in a hurry."

"Well then, if it's quite as urgent as all that, let's get down to it, shall we?"

Riku grimaced, and reached for his back pocket. "How much do you want?"

Kadaj continued smiling as Loz laughed at him, again. Yazoo stayed his wrist as Kadaj replied, "I don't want your money, Riku. I own a very successful business,"

"Could have fooled me, with the furnishings in this place," Riku muttered, becoming wary. Kadaj laughed airily.

"I'll tell you what, Riku-boy. I'll give you your information. Free of charge. No favours owed. Nothing. But I do want _something_ in return. Well, rather, Yazoo does."

"And what," Riku turned to look at the brother sitting next to him, who had propped up his chin with his hand, while his elbow rested on his knees. The other arm lay across his lap. He stared at Riku coolly. "Would that be?"

"For you to sleep with him," Kadaj answered.

Riku recoiled and then stood up and walked towards the door. "No way. Now way in _hell_. Thanks for wasting my time, you bast-,"

The brothers all laughed behind him. Kadaj called, "Riku, darling, don't leave. I was only joking."

Riku paused, but kept within distance of the door.

"Riku, your boy came by here, but we couldn't spare the room that night. We were entertaining visitors." Kadaj had come towards him, and something about the fond gleam in his eye made Riku nauseous. "But we pointed him to the motel on main, and told him to drop our names at the desk."

Riku shuddered. He had stayed there during his own visit to the city. It was not a comfortable place. He would hate to think of Sora in such a situation. Sora had not been on his own like Riku had, and a handsome young man was bound to draw attention. But Kairi would have called, Riku told himself sternly.

"So that's all?" Riku asked.

"Not quite." Kadaj replied, placing a hand on his hip. "We made conversation. He mentioned something about going East from here- a city called Spira."

"Never been there," Riku said, mostly to himself.

"Of course not. It's a _nice place_," Kadaj grinned. "They don't welcome _our_ type there, Riku, darling."

"And what exactly do you determine 'our type' to be?" Riku asked scathingly before he could stop himself. Kadaj laughed, and it was Yazoo, who had come with Loz to stand by their brother, who answered him.

"Outcasts. Pariahs. Society's unwanted."

"Trouble makers," Loz added, smiling.

"I'm not looking for trouble." Riku answered, and turned to put his hand on the door.

"Maybe not," Kadaj answered, retreating into the living room. "But it certainly seems to find you, doesn't it? Oh, and Riku?"

"What?" Riku was exasperated by this point, and just wanted to find somewhere to crash for the night.

"Tell the young Sora that my brother Loz says hello, won't you?" Riku looked at Loz, who's expression was nothing short of _ravenous_.

Riku left, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Riku had never had any reason to doubt the Jenova brothers before, but it was obvious within an hour of searching the town called Besaid that a spiky-haired brunette called Sora had never been there. What was more, the only local inn had no vacancies, and Riku was exhausted. He drove until he found a park, and figured he would doze on a bench long enough to not be hallucinating anymore, and then call Kairi for news.<p>

The first bench he found, however, was occupied.

Under normal circumstances, Riku would have woken the silver-haired boy, maybe offered him a ride somewhere; but Riku was both too tired to get involved and too focused on Sora to get sidetracked. He instead fell onto a bench across the path, and almost immediately fell into a deep sleep.

He woke suddenly to a jab in the stomach. It was early dawn; much later than Riku had meant to sleep. He looked around himself blearily.

"Look sharp," A voice muttered from his left. "Cops,"

Riku had been caught sleeping in public areas before. While homelessness was not a crime, trespassing after dark was. If the police had reason to suspect that Riku had stayed the night, they might bring him in for questioning, which was precious time he could not afford to waste.

Thankfully, the policemen breezed by without looking at the pair for more than a second. They probably assumed that they were in the middle of some clandestine lovers' tryst, Riku realised with a sigh. He turned to thank the boy.

"No problem," the kid said somewhat uncomfortably.

Had this boy not just made sure Riku not spend his morning in a police station, Riku could have walked away without being bothered. But now that he had put the effort forth, Riku couldn't just abandon him as some punk kid who had too much to drink at a party somewhere. "What's a kid like you doing out all night, anyway?"

"I'm not a kid," the boy huffed. "I'm eighteen."

Riku looked at him skeptically. "Okay. So, do you need a ride home, or what?"

The boy looked grim. "No, that's okay. I don't really live close. I'll be fine, anyway."

"Where do you live?"

"...Cocoon." The boy... Young man, Riku supposed, if he were telling the truth about his age, looked at his lap, clad in khakis.

"That's a long way from here." Riku said, invitingly enough that the boy could supply information if he wanted, or ignore him if he chose that route. He seemed to think it over, and then go for the former.

"I left home. I don't like my Dad much."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It's not like he abuses me. We just... Don't get along."

Riku nodded. "Yeah, I get that. But I don't think a park bench is a better way to spend an evening than bitching to your friends and then sleeping in a nice bed. I've been on the road for years now. I really don't think it's a great place to be."

"So why don't you go home?"

"...That's what I'm working on, more or less." There was a silence. "How did you get so far, anyway?"

"I hitchhiked."

Riku looked concerned. "That's not safe for someone of your... Er... Physique." He said, trying to illustrate without being insensitive that the younger man was rather androgynous.

"Well, it wasn't like I had much choice. I can't afford a motorcycle after my last one died, and I have no interest in a car. It's not so bad, though. I mean, I'm not naïve. I know what some people expect of me when they pick me up."

"And... Do you give it to them?"

The boy laughed instead of answering directly. "I suppose you're going to tell me that sex is something to be cherished, and reserved for love?"

Riku's face twisted in consternation. "Well, I won't tell you how to live," he said, "But, well. I mean, yeah. I wouldn't sleep with anyone I didn't love, anyway."

The other frowned bitterly. "Well, not all of us are lucky enough to have someone love us back."

"I'm not that lucky, either," Riku said. "I'm a virgin."

The boy looked at him curiously, but upon seeing the sadness in Riku's eyes, he softened. "I'm Hope."

"Riku. Come on. Call your dad. Tell him your coming home." Riku handed Hope a cell phone. The younger stared at it for a long moment, and Riku almost snapped that he was kind of on a tight schedule, here, but Hope answered before he could make the assertion.

"Okay," Hope nodded.

* * *

><p>"Hey, can you stop at the diner ahead?" Hope was sitting behind Riku on the motorcycle, wearing Riku's helmet. He never wore it, anyway. The were stopped in traffic.<p>

"You're so hungry you can't wait five minutes until we get to your apartment?"

He felt Hope shake his head against his back, and wondered if people around them thought Hope was a woman with his face to covered; his girlfriend, perhaps. The thought made him ache for Sora.

"No," Hope said. "I have some friends there that I'd like to tell I'm back. They've probably worried about me. They are kind of my adoptive family."

Traffic began moving again, and Riku pulled into the parking lot of the diner. It was one of the same chain as back home, Riku realised, even though the diner was privately owned and not a major franchise. He pulled into a parking spot and Hope got off the bike. Riku noticed that Hope was not awkward on his legs, like most people would be after the long trip, indicating he was familiar with this mode of travel. Hope handed him the helmet.

"Are you coming in?" Hope asked. Riku shook his head.

"I'll just wait out here."

Hope shrugged and went inside. Riku took the opportunity to slip his cell phone from his back pocket and draw Kairi's number up from his contacts.

"You've reached Sora and Kairi's place," the answering machine informed Riku. Kairi had learned from a magazine not to use surnames in an answering message. Something about identity theft. Halfway through the message, Kairi picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," Riku answered, scrubbing a hand over his face wearily.

"Riku," Kairi breathed out, relieved. "Have you found him?"

"No," Riku answered, frowning as he stared through the glass walls of the diner and saw various people engulfing Hope in a hug. He was happy for the young man, but could not afford to be diverted here for long. "No news from you, either?"

"No," Kairi said sadly. "He left a message last night, but I was out. I've been trying to call him back all day. I think he timed it so that he would not have to speak to me directly, though."

"What did the message say?"

"Just the usual," Kairi sighed. "He was fine, not to worry, to give his best to everyone, and that he was sorry again."

"I see," Riku gritted his jaws.

"Are you doing okay?" Her concern focused on him instead of her ex-fiancé, now.

Riku ran his hand roughly over his face. "I'm exhausted. I just traveled five hours straight without a break. Picked up some kid in a park in a place called Besaid, told me he lives in _Cocoon_ and ran away from his dad. I didn't want to get involved, but I kind of owed him a favor,"

He could picture Kairi nodding. "You would have gotten involved anyway, Riku. You're a good person. You don't need to feel frustrated about that."

"Yeah, well," Riku grumped, "Look where being a good person has gotten me. Probably days behind schedule, who knows. It isn't like I have any leads right now. I guess I'll visit the kids in Spira next, but I don't have any more reason to think he'll be there than anywhere else. It's just closer."

"Well, regardless, you can afford to take the rest of the day off. Drop the boy off at home and then get a room and sleep. You won't do anyone any good if you end up wrecking on the way to Spira," Kairi said consolingly.

"I _can't_," Riku sounded weary, and maybe just a tad petulant from exhaustion. "I have wasted so much time already. But we're stopped at a diner now, so I will grab a cup of coffee, at least," he conceded, when he heard Kairi begin to debate.

Kairi sighed. "Okay. But _promise_ me you'll call before you set out for Spira, so I can at least time how long it should take you to get there and call you once you've arrived to make sure you aren't dead."

"I promise. I'll talk to you later. Love you, Kai," Riku said quickly before hanging up. They did not frequently exchange declarations of affection, but once in a while Riku felt like reassuring his younger sister-figure that she was meaningful in his life. Riku looked back inside, and the silver-haired youth was now glancing guiltily back at him as his friends ushered him into a booth. Despite himself, Riku smiled, glad to know that he was doing the right thing in taking the boy home. And, after all, he had a bit off time, if he were going to grab a cup of coffee like he promised Kairi.

Riku walked into the diner and waited to be waited on.

Finally, a pink-haired girl in a brown miniskirt and white, collared shirt noticed him.

"Sorry, we're closed," she called, standing up and placing a hand on her hip, looking annoyed.

"No, wait, Light," Hope moved from the booth to touch her arm. "This is Riku. He's the one who told me to come home."

Her face softened. She approached Riku, and Hope sat back down.

"Thank you," The woman said. She looked about Riku's age, maybe slightly younger. "Hope is a bit of a brat, but he's a good kid. He means a lot to us. He's like a brother to me, personally. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"I'd love a cup of coffee," Riku smiled, generating a thirty-watt smile that reflected his exhaustion. Lightning looked concerned, but either was not the type to meddle, or figured he deserved her respect, and only nodded.

"You're welcome to sit with us, if you like," she gestured to a few chairs that had been pulled from their respective locations to be drawn near the booth where Hope sat, surrounded by no less than five people. Riku shook his head, tiredly.

"No offense, but I'll just take a booth. I'd hate to impose."

Rather than convincing him he would be of no inconvenience, Lightning nodded and accepted the answer before leaving to grab a mug and pour some coffee. He sat down heavily at the booth nearest the door. And drank deeply once Lightning had come back with his coffee.

"Just call if you need anything, okay?" She said before rejoining the group. Riku blinked and tried to shake the tiredness from him. He had been traveling for weeks, and seeing someone else reunited with their loved ones, rather than encouraging as it should have been, just impressed upon Riku the unlikelihood of his success. There were hundreds of thousands of miles to cover, and even if he crawled over every square inch, Sora could easily just move to a place he'd already been to avoid him. The odds were against Riku. And though he had known this from the start, he was starting to wonder if maybe, this time, love would not conquer all. Maybe that only worked when facing against megalomaniacal deviants.

The door opened behind him, but Riku did not pay attention, lost in his thought.

"Hey, there, Roxas! Look who's back!"

Riku's pulse froze. He stiffened and turned to the door, slowly, willing himself not to get his hopes up. It did not matter, anyway. There, in the door, framed by the sunlight, was a short-haired, very _blonde_ Sora, who had not yet seen him.

Sora grinned and put a hand on his hip. "Well, if it isn't our favourite run-"

"-away," Riku finished, and got up from the booth.

* * *

><p>Sora stared, bug-eyed. How was Riku... How had he...?<p>

Riku, for his part, looked positively mad. He eyes had a manic gleam to them, like he was ready to tear anything that got in his way at the seams. He was also trembling heavily, which served to further unnerve Sora; Riku _never_ lost his cool.

"Hey, stranger," Riku said lightly, belying his tense posture.

"How did you...?"

"Sora... You couldn't think I would just _give up_..." Riku took a step closer, and Sora did not move. "I looked _everywhere_. I asked _everyone_. I could've killed that fool Vincent for giving you so many names," Riku laughed hollowly, and moved a step closer. All other noise in the diner had ceased, but neither noticed. "I was never... I never _thought_ about giving you up."

Sora shook his head in awe and disbelief.

Riku smiled as he finally closed the distance between them, wrapping his arm around his friend's waste and using the other to tilt Sora's chin upwards. "I need you," He spoke seriously before dipping his head and kissing Sora. Sora returned the kiss, timidly at first, and the vehemently. The other occupants of the diner began applauding and shrieking catcalls that neither of them heard.

Riku never saw the fist coming.

"YOU FUCKING ARROGANT BASTARD!" Sora screeched at an ungodly pitch. Riku was not sure whether to clutch his abdomen or his ears. He gave a despairing moan.

"What... The hell?" Riku panted, glaring at Sora, whose hand was still in a fist and raised threateningly.

"I DIDN'T RUN AWAY SO YOU WOULD FOLLOW ME. I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL. THIS ISN'T SOME FUCKING TEST OF LOVE. I WANT YOU OUT!"

"Wait! Sora, I-,"

"No! Out! Out, out, OUT!" He started pushing Riku out the door, and once Riku was sprawled on the pavement outside, he locked it quickly with his key.

"Uh. Roxas?" Snow queried from the booth, where everyone sat, speechless.

Sora turned away from the glass and grinned at his friends brightly.

"So," he said, "How about some smoothies?"


	6. Chapter 6

Riku decided it would be best to wait before trying to approach Sora again. He went to a local motel and asked for a room. The haughty desk worker informed him loftily that they were full. Riku frowned and wondered what the man's problem was, until he caught his reflection in a mirror across the lobby. Riku looked rough. That is, if rough were a metaphor for "escaped convict on the run chic". His arms were bruised, and his hair could use a wash. He was tanned to an almost- gasp- normal skin tone. His clothes were wrinkled and his t-shirt stained. Riku groaned and stepped back outside before calling Kairi.

"Riku?" Kairi answered. "Ready to leave?"

"No," Riku answered. He took a deep breath. "Kairi, you'll never believe what I'm about to tell you, but I found him,"

"You _what_? Where is he? Let me talk to him!"

"I can't," Riku groaned, leaning against the brick exterior of the motel. "He kicked me out as soon as I kissed him," He knew he wasn't making sense, but he was dead on his feet and so much had happened that he did not know what way was up anymore.

"Maybe you should start at the beginning," Kairi instructed. Riku laughed deliriously.

"In the beginning the entire universe was contained into one infinitesimal speck," Riku narrated, and he heard Kairi sigh.

"Or, how about after you spoke to me last," She instructed carefully. Riku thought back a second, screwing up his face in the sheer concentration the effort required, and recounted it all to her.

"Well, it's like I said a six weeks ago," Kairi said. "He _thinks_ he needs to be alone. You have to convince him otherwise."

"I know. It's just frustrating, to be so flatly rejected after everything I've gone through to find him again. And in the meantime, I have nowhere to stay. Even if I found someplace, I am running out of money. I usually rely on couches, but I don't have any friends in these parts,"

"Do you think if you spoke to Vincent...?"

"No, I doubt it. We travel together pretty frequently; not constantly, but often enough to where I think I would have known about a contact here."

"Can I do _anything_?"

Riku smiled at the concern in her voice. "Yeah. You can not worry about me. It'll be fine, Kai. I'll have him back in no time,"

"Promise?" Kairi asked.

"Yeah," Riku said, the smile in his voice not reflected on his face. "Of course I do."

* * *

><p>Riku came back to the diner the next day with a bouquet.<p>

"Is Sora in?" He asked as he approached the counter where Lightening was working. She looked up from arranging money in the cash register to smirk at him.

"Roxas!" She called behind her into the kitchen. "You have a visitor!"

Sora came from the back grinning, until he laid eyes on Riku.

Riku held up the flowers and his hands in truce. Preemptively, "I just want to talk."

"Riku," Sora said, hopping over the counter. He punched him again, this time in the jaw. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU I AM NOT A GODDAMN GIRL."

He proceeded, in front of the audience of the customers, to shove Riku outside.

Riku got up, saw Sora throw the bouquet outside after him, and dejectedly walked away.

But when Sora left to go home for the evening, he was pleased to see the bouquet resting on Vincent's bike.

* * *

><p>The next day, when Riku showed up, he brought better ammunition.<p>

"Hi, there," he spoke to the tall, blonde man at the counter.

"Roxas," the man immediately called.

"Snow?" Sora peeked from the back. He saw Riku and groaned. Riku cut him off, holding out a cell phone.

"It's for you," Riku said, deadpan. Sora scowled and took the phone without touching Riku's hand. Riku smirked smugly as the high-pitched screaming of Kairi could be heard from where he stood. The man known as Snow stared bemusedly.

"I'm fine Kairi. No, I'm not dead on the side of the road. I called you, like eight times! Well, it's not my fault you were always out, or busy, or... Listen, Kairi, I gotta go. No, it's my job. Yeah, I work at a diner. No, I'm not avoiding _anything_ Kairi, I...! Okay. Okay, bye." He hung up. "I'm supposed to talk to you," he said in monotone to Riku, who smiled broadly.

"So I am going to _tell_ you that you should be able to get out that door in four seconds... I'll give you two."

Riku folded his arms and waited, challenging.

Riku was growing very well-acquainted with that particular patch of pavement. Overhead, his cell phone flew into the street, and a car ran over it promptly. Riku's head dropped into his hands.

* * *

><p>Riku came and slid into a booth on the third day. Sora went to wait on a booth right next to his without glancing at Riku twice. He proceeded to ignore Riku for the next three hours. Eventually, someone slid into the booth across from Riku, but it wasn't Sora.<p>

"So what's the history between you two? You and Roxas, I mean," It was Hope, come to visit his friends at the diner.

"The guy you know as Roxas is actually Sora Hikari," Riku said dully as he watched Sora bring out plates to an elderly couple and flirt with the old woman good-naturedly. "And he's my best friend."

"Friends, huh?" Hope repeated dubiously.

"We're also kind of in love," Riku admitted, shrugging. "But that's more recent. Well, then again, I guess it isn't. It just hasn't been an issue, until recently."

"And why is it an issue now?"

"Because he got engaged," Riku sighed, tracing circles absently on the tabletop.

Hope's eyes widened. "Roxas's _engaged_?"

"Not anymore," Riku said glumly. "He broke up with my other best friend."

"Why?"

"For me," Riku said, realising it was true as he said it. "Sort of."

"So now you two aren't speaking because...?"

"I wasn't around much before the engagement," Riku said hesitantly. I guess he's worried I'll run whenever things get tough. I guess he just doesn't see that I'd do anything... Whatever it takes..." He wasn't speaking to Hope anymore, so much as muttering to himself what he wanted to say to Sora, if only he'd been given the chance.

"I guess he means a lot to you, huh?" Hope folded his arms on the table and leaned his head on them thoughtfully.

"More than a lot," Riku said, quietly. "More like everything."

Hours passed, and eventually Sora and Riku were the last people left. After Sora cleaned the diner up, he left and locked the place up with Riku still sitting there, in that booth. Riku hung his head, alone in the dark, dejected.

But hey, he thought. At least he had somewhere to sleep that night.

* * *

><p>In the morning, Sora shook his head when he came back to the diner to see Riku sprawled on the same booth seat. It didn't look comfortable.<p>

"You left him here last night?" Serah scolded.

"Sorry," Sora said. "I didn't really expect him to stay."

"Well, he did," Serah pointed out unnecessarily, pouring coffee grounds into various makers.

"I'm sorry. I'll get rid of him."

"When are you going to stop being so hard on him, anyway?"

"When he leaves," Sora said viciously, before sighing. "I don't know. Every night I go home thinking, tomorrow I will sit and talk to him. But I just keep not doing it. Like, when I see him the next day, I just immediately start being mean."

"Sounds like you're scared," Serah said, although it was not taunting.

"I am. I mean," Sora sat down at the counter and propped his chin on his hand. "I have no idea what I'm doing here, Serah. With my ex... Her name was Kairi... It was all layed out in front of me. I didn't have to think much," Sora grinned, tapping his blonde head. "I'm not so great at thinking."

"I know," Serah said, and after a moment, when she didn't add anything, Sora said, "Hey!"

A snore erupted behind them, and Sora got off the stool and stalked over to Riku, hands on his hips. "Stop faking," Sora commended, annoyed.

Riku didn't move, and Sora had to give him credit. If he had not known Riku as long as he had, he would have been fooled.

"I knew you were awake when I walked in, you moron," Sora said. Riku flinched, as though in a dream, and half-mumbled something. Sora rolled his eyes. Riku was laying it on thick, but it was all mannerisms habitual to sleeping Riku.

"I swear to god I'll pour coffee on you if you-,"

"Okay, okay, Christ. I'm up." Riku sat up hurriedly. Sora smirked at him.

"How long do you plan on staying here?" Sora asked.

"Until His Majesty deems to grant me an audience," Riku retorted.

"Sarcasm may not be the best way to woo me," Sora advised bitingly.

"Well, I don't know what the fuck _will_ work; earnestness, honesty, romanticism, and appealing to a higher power clearly have no influence," Riku snapped, and Sora felt a little guilty. He sat down next to Riku.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be so..."

"Bitchy," Riku supplied. Sora rolled his eyes again.

"Bitchy, whatever. But you can't just live here. Customers will get scared. Or at least complain of the smell."

Riku winced.

"Go and get some rest. Get a shower."

"What about you?"

"I have to work," Sora replied in an obvious manner.

"No, I mean, what about _us_?"

Sora sighed. "I dunno, Riku. My shift ends at five. Come and pick me up, and I'll take you to dinner, and we can talk things out."

Riku looked at him suspiciously. "You won't be gone if I come here at five, will you? I won't come here and ask Lightning and hear 'Oh, Roxas? He caught a plane to some other galaxy around two, sorry you missed him,'"

Sora sighed. "It's going to be hard to word this out if neither of us trust each other," he pointed out.

"And whose fault is that?"

"Yours," Sora answered, and Riku conceded that he had a point.

"Okay. I'll be here at five fifteen, then."

They both got out of the booth.

"Okay," Sora agreed. Riku looked down at Sora, searching his face for Sora knew not what answers to even more obscure questions. He was standing abnormally close. Sora gulped, wondering if Riku would kiss him again.

Instead, he turned on his heel and left without another word. Sora did not know whether he was relieved, or disappointed.

* * *

><p>Dinner was tense. Riku wanted to break into the subject of bringing Sora back, but did not want to drive Sora back off. Sora did not want to talk about anything serious.<p>

"So, why 'Roxas'?" Riku asked, pushing a bit of broccoli around his plate. The restaurant was a family-friendly sit-down place. There was a lot of pop culture memorabilia on the walls.

"Well, partially I did not want you to find me," Sora gave a teasing smile, "but also, I wanted a sort of new life, you know? And Roxas is easier for me to answer to than just some random name. Roxas is still in me, sort of. Not exactly aware, but I'll get a feeling every now and then, and I know it isn't mine. Thank you," he said to a waitress refilling his soda. Riku smiled at her and continued when they were alone again.

"Does he... Miss Naminé?" But he was not really speaking about Naminé, Sora knew.

"The thing about Roxas... He never actually _loved_ Naminé," Sora admitted, with a distant look on his face, staring at the tablecloth, as though focused intently. "He loved Axel."

"Axel, huh?" Riku digested this. He had never had a nobody, but from what Sora and Kairi had been able to gather, piecing together the fuzzy half-memories they inherited from their others, Axel was something akin to Roxas's Riku. His best friend, other than the girl... The fourteenth that they had never met, the shade of memory Sora had tried to explain several times, but not had words for. "But I thought Kairi said..."

"Naminé may have fallen in love with _him_," Sora said, "but he barely knew her. She spent a lot more time, watching him, getting to know him. Axel was the one Roxas really cared about. When he died I... _Roxas_ felt... I don't know. Lost. Like I felt when you left."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"So... You can ride a motorcycle."

"Yeah." Sora replied, distractedly. "Tron taught me."

"Oh." Riku answered, looking away. "Right." There was a long silence. "Listen, Sora-,"

"I think I need to get home," Sora cut him off, looking worried. Riku stared at him long and hard, and Sora shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Okay. Go ahead and wait outside. I'll pay."

"I can..." Sora reached after his friend, protesting.

"Sora, please," Riku stopped pushing in his chair to give Sora a pained look. Sora sighed and let Riku go.

* * *

><p>The drive home was terse, silent. Riku saw the outside of the house in which Sora rented a room, and was relieved to discover it to be a comfortable home of decent size, the type with a cheerful garden and wind chimes hanging on the porch; freshly whitewashed shutters on all the windows.<p>

"Riku," Sora sighed, handing him the helmet and standing on the curb. Riku wasn't wearing a helmet, and the breeze blew his silver hair in his face. He made no movement to stop it. "I just... I just need _time_, okay?"

Riku wanted to protest that two months should have been plenty of time, but he remained rigid.

"Riku..." Sora groaned. "You're always making me feel guilty over _something._ Come here."

Riku himself felt guilty when he heard what Sora said. He slid off the motorcycle and let Sora wrap his arms around his waist and press his face into his chest, inhaling reflexively. Riku did not smile, but he placed his arms around Sora in turn and let his head rest in unnaturally blonde spikes.

Without thinking, he stated, "You have _got_ to go back to your natural hair colour."

Sora laughed, and looked up at him with clear blue eyes. "I thought you might like it. Would remind you of your favourite person." Sora laughed, and Riku rolled his eyes, knowing Sora meant Riku himself.

"You've known me my entire life. When have you ever seen me go after a blonde?"

"Never seen you go for a brunette, either." Sora shrugged, and the movement jostled Riku, they were so close.

"Yeah, well, that's because I'm apparently Sorasexual."

Sora's eyes darkened a little, a subtle difference, but one Riku picked up immediately, and at once backtracked, fearing he had said too much. "I mean, so far in my experience I've only ever been really attracted to you, not that I have really looked elsewhere but-,"

Suddenly, he didn't have to worry about retracting whatever error he had made, because his lips were else wise engaged. Riku realised, with a skipped heartbeat, that this was the first kiss Sora had ever initiated. He leaned into it, and cupped Sora's face in his hands, while Sora's hands wound around his neck. They broke apart when the porch light came on, but Riku just rested his forehead against Sora's.

Sora placed the lightest of kisses on Riku's jaw before disengaging and moving to ascend the steps to the porch. Riku did not bother to watch him go, knowing if he did not leave now he would make an idiot of himself by calling him back, or worse, following him. And Riku was not about to become Sora's creepy stalker.

Well. Other than traveling hundreds of hours and miles across the islands to find him, that is.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes: So, uh, I don't know if anyone's in to this type of thing, but I wrote a Doctor Who one-shot called Thousand Ways. So, uh, if anyone wanted to read and review that, y'know. -Shrug.- Anyway, thanks for reading!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Sora showed Riku the city as he'd come to know it. From the park (that Riku, ironically, knew very well, having slept there many nights upon first arriving), to Sora's favourite coffee shop, to a skate park, where Riku was shocked to realise Sora was an extremely proficient boarder, to a comic shop that stocked obscure issues that Sora had craved since his teenage years, and finally a CD place called "Forest Owls", the employees of which were apparently trying to convert Sora from his generic rap/rock/metal preferences and introduce him to indie nonsense that Riku was having _none _of.

"This is the worst song I have ever heard," Riku announced dramatically, hearing a harmonica join into a song by some artist he'd never heard of, and did not care to again. In all honestly, the music was not that bad, but he knew that listening to folk was a step shy of sporting ironically unfashionable hats and wearing scarfs in the summer and growing ironic beards. And Riku would rather be trapped in the darkness again than be in love with a hipster.

"Sora," Rinoa gave the blonde boy a level glare as she lifted the needle off the vinyl record and placed a hand on her hip. "Who is this guy and why is he in my family's store?"

"Sorry," Sora looked sheepish. "This is Riku, my jerk of a boyfriend."

The casual label took Riku by surprise. It wasn't a surprise that that was what they were, he had been there the last two weeks and the kisses and flirting had progressed to a routine interaction. But the term itself had never even crossed his mind. He rolled it around in his mind like a ball on a slanted floor. Boyfriend. Boy friend. Boyfriend.

Riku smiled suddenly. "Actually, put that back on. I think it was sort of growing on me."

* * *

><p>Riku knocked on the door and waited until the elderly woman opened the door to warmly greet him. He handed he a bouquet of flowers, his way of thanking her for allowing him to spend so much of his time in her home. She cooed and hugged him warmly.<p>

"Sora is in the den, watching television. I... have to go to market to pick up some vegetables."

"Oh, would you like me to ride into town for you, Mrs B? It's no trouble," Riku said teasingly. He knew full well she was making excuses to let them be alone for a while.

"Oh, no, bless you, child. I need to pay a visit to Miss Molly Justice anyway, and make sure those animals of hers haven't eaten her alive."

Riku couldn't help but laugh. Adelaide Bonfamille was a quirky, occasionally morbid, but incredibly sweet old woman who had been renting her upstairs room to Sora for three months now. She had sons and daughters of her own, he knew, but they seemed to seldom visit, and she had taken to mothering Sora and himself, as well as her beloved cat Duchess and her kittens, in their stead. Riku mused how fortunate it was that she was such an open-minded woman. The district she lived in was old money, and Riku and Sora had gotten their share of glares from porch-sitting elderly while strolling, hand-in-hand, through the neighbourhood.

Riku collapsed on a floral sofa next to Sora in front of a large-ish television that Mrs Bonfamille hardly ever watched. Sora automatically snuggled up to him, and one of the kittens began brushing against his ankle.

"How was work?" Riku asked, threading his fingers through Sora's.

"Long. Dull." Sora shrugged. "You?"

"Talked to Kairi. Bought some flowers."

Sora nodded absently. "Kairi say anything interesting?

Riku bit his lip. "Well, yeah. She wanted to know when we'd be home."

Sora stiffened. "So you told her we weren't, right?"

Riku frowned down at the now-brunette man. "No. Sora, you can't possibly plan,"

"I can't possibly plan _what_ Riku?" Sora left Riku's arms and faced him. "I have a job, and a place to live. Why is it so crazy to want to keep that?"

"Well, because..." Riku was flustered. "I don't know, Kairi..."

"Kairi can fuck herself!" Sora said vehemently, and then instantaneously paled.

"You didn't mean that," Riku growled, reminding himself as much as Sora.

"No," Sora agreed. "I didn't. But Riku... I can't go back. I can't leave. Tell me you understand."

Riku searched Sora's pleading face, and sighed. "Yeah."

"So... Just tell her I've decided to stay here."

"Maybe you should tell her yourself. She says it's been a while since you called."

"It's... Awkward."

This Riku could _not_ understand. "Awkward? With _Kairi_?"

"Yes," Sora grit out in the way Riku knew meant he did not feel like expounding. "With Kairi."

They settled back into the sofa, Sora leaning on Riku.

"You know, since we're staying and all," Riku said contemplatively after a moment, "I should probably start looking for a place to live."

Riku knew Sora better than anyone, but even _he_ did not foresee the glee with which Sora attacked him, kissing everything he could reach.

* * *

><p>Riku collapsed, exhausted, onto his hotel bed. It had been a long week of apartment hunting, and although he had found the ideal housing the second day, Sora had insisted that they inspect more options.<p>

"What if family comes to stay?" Sora had asked.

"My mother doesn't like getting out of bed, much less taking a two-hour plane trip to see me."

"No, I mean _family_. Kairi."

"Well, she can sleep in the bed. I'll take the couch."

But Sora would not hear of anything less than two bedrooms, two bathrooms. So they had spent the next five days running around the city and suburbs in Sora's off hours, and trying to keep Riku from pulling out his hair. The stress had finally caused Riku to explode at Sora earlier that evening, as Riku had dropped him off.

"Why the hell do you even care? You already have a home!"

"I have a room," Sora corrected.

Riku had deflated. Did that mean...?

"Don't read too much into it," Sora warned. "I'm not saying I'm ready to move in with you. I'm just saying... I want to keep our options open."

Riku curled up on the bedspread he had, for the last month, after living homeless in parks for the first two weeks, called his own. Sora and his relationship was progressing slowly. Sora tended to be very hesitant when it came to discussing the future, but whether it was because he did not want to get his hopes up, or he did not want _Riku_ to get his up, Riku could not say. He had not brought up sex, but he had a feeling even that would be too much to ask from Sora, yet.

Riku realised with a groan that he had not spoken to Kairi in a little over a week. He arched his back as he pulled his new cell phone from his back pocket and flipped it open before scrolling through his contacts and pressing the call button. It rang twice, before a deep male voice answered.

"Valentine?" Riku sounded confused. He checked the caller ID on his phone's screen, and affirmed he had called Kairi's number. "What are you doing at Kairi's?"

"Never left," Vincent answered matter-of-factly.

"Never left? It's been a month and a half!"

Riku could almost hear the responding shrug. "At first I was just waiting for someone to be free long enough to drop by. Then I just... Stayed."

"Why did Kairi never tell me you were still there?"

Vincent did not answer.

"Are you two...?"

"No," Vincent said shortly, "We are not."

"...I see."

There was a long silence. Riku waited for more information, which he more than knew Vincent would not offer. Finally, Riku sighed. "Well, is Kairi around?"

"No, she isn't."

Riku felt annoyed with the situation. "Well, where is she?"

There was another long silence, and Riku thought Vincent was, again, not going to answer, but before he could start demanding information, Vincent replied, "I do not know."

"How could you not know? You _live_ there, don't you?"

"Kairi is an adult. If she does not tell me where she is, it is her decision. I respect her privacy."

Riku growled. "Fine. Just... Tell her to call me, okay?"

"Is it about Sora?"

"Look at who's respecting privacy now," Riku snapped, and then said, more calmly, "Yes."

"Is he coming back?"

"...No."

There was another silence. "I'll tell her you called."

"Okay."

"Is there anything else?"

Riku considered. There _was_ something else, but he did not know how to phrase it. "Kairi... Is she...?"

"She's not moving on very well. She's... drinking."

"I mean, sometimes she goes out with her friends..."

"This isn't the same." Vincent interrupted. "I just thought you should know."

Riku heard the end of the conversation. He wanted to argue, but didn't. Instead, he only sighed. "Okay. Goodnight."

* * *

><p>Riku decided not to tell Sora about what Vincent had told him until he had spoken to Kairi himself.<p>

"Well, what about this one?" Sora handed him a pamphlet of an apartment Riku did not even recall looking at, while they sprawled on Adelaide's sofa.

"I don't know, if I don't remember seeing it, it couldn't have been that great," Riku reasoned, and Sora scowled.

"Of course you remember. It had the island in the kitchen, and the awesome terra cotta tiles on the balcony..."

Riku's silver eyebrows shot up.

"...Don't look at me like that. That's what they're called. Look. It says so right..." He searched the proffered pamphlet a few seconds before sighing in frustration. "Well, I know I saw it somewhere..."

"I can't believe I ever doubted how really really gay you are."

"Screw you," Sora rolled his eyes. "I'm not gay."

"'Screw me you aren't gay.'" Riku repeated. "Does anything about that statement sound paradoxical to you?"

"I _slept_ with Kairi." Sora illustrated crudely with his hands. "I liked it, too. If there's anyone here that's gay, it's you, buddy."

"I thought we established that I am Sorasexual,"

"Not my fault I'm so overwhelmingly attra- oh!"

Riku had interrupted him by pinning him flat on the cushions. One of the cats who had been resting on the arm of the sofa meowed indignantly and leaped away. He was getting so damn tired of Sora flirting with him and then at the last minute remembering that he had commitment issues. He didn't know exactly what he was planning, what _could_ be accomplished in the setting where a frail (albeher open-minded) old woman could walk in at any moment, but if nothing else, he would get his point across to Sora: he was staying, and Sora needed to get used to the idea.

"Riku, stop, we haven't finished looking through-!"

"They'll be there," Riku mumbled, trailing kisses down Sora's throat.

"Not if someone _buys_ them all while you're busy _making out_..."

Riku ignored him and pressed his crotch against Sora's, who gasped. "What were you saying?"

"I... Don't remember," Sora looked vaguely concerned.

"Must not've been important," Riku smiled, continuing kissing Sora and letting his hands slide under his shirt until...

"Aghhh," Riku groaned.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" Sora squeaked, suddenly alert.

"Nothing, phone call," Riku pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket. Sora's eyes bugged out.

"Really? You're going to stop... What we were doing... To answer your _phone_?"

"It's not like I _want_ to," Riku scowled, "I just haven't spoken to Kairi in forever, and- Hello?"

Sora's eyes rolled as Riku put the phone to his ear.

"Kai- no, he's right here, what...? Okay, calm down, okay," he handed the phone to Sora.

"Hey, there," Sora answered hesitantly. "No... No, I'm not." A pause, Sora listening. "No, no plans to visit soon..." Sora pursed his lips and glared accusingly at Riku, who held his hands up in defense. Abruptly, Sora took the phone away from his head, and stared at it in disbelief. "She hung up... Should I call back?"

"Better not," Riku advised. "She'll only get more worked up, and anyway..." He inched closer to Sora, who pushed him back.

"Oh, hell no. If you think you're still getting laid after I just got screamed at by my ex-girlfriend, you are absolutely wrong."

"But..." Riku looked broken-hearted, and fumbled for a convincing argument. All he was able to come up with however, was, "My dick!"

Sora eyed him strangely. "Well, you and it can settle things between yourselves _after_ we pick an apartment."

"Sora, darling, dearest, love of my life," Riku said as sweetly as he could manage. Sora gave him a dry look. "I am going to kill you."

"Tch." The Keyblade Master said, picking up a folder containing a floor plan and yet another pamphlet. "Like I've never heard _that_ line before."

* * *

><p>Three days later, on a warm mid-autumn night, Riku was sitting on a cheap cot that served as his new couch, in front of a ridiculously expensive new flat-screen television with his Sora in his new apartment. Well, at least he had his priorities straight.<p>

The doorbell rang, and Riku groaned, hoping that it was not the insufferably perky landlady come to ask (_again_) if Riku was doing well, if there was anything she could help him with. If he had to deal with her purple lipstick and too-loud laughter again, he swore he would scream "WHAT ABOUT THE WORD GAY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" and slam the door in her face, consequences be damned.

It was not the landlady.

It was Kairi.

She pushed past him with as little concern as a bulldozer for a pebble. Sora was standing by this point, and opening his mouth to say who knows what, when Kairi, predictably, swung her small hand at his face.

What was not to be expected was Sora catching her arm and throwing her into a wall three feet away.

Riku was by her side like than lightning, while Sora stood dumbly staring at her.

"What the _fuck_, you moron!" Riku growled, hauling Kairi to her feet. "You idiot!"

"I... I didn't mean..."

Riku noticed his error too late. "No, Sora, I didn't mean..."

"I... _Fucking hell_." Sora stared. "I break everything." And he was gone, and Riku could not follow him, with Kairi there, sobbing into his shoulder. He had to trust Sora not to run further than he could find his way home again.

* * *

><p>"So, you're saying you hit your ex-girlfriend?" Lightning mulled it over while Serah handed him a mug of hot cocoa.<p>

"It's weird to imagine you with a girlfriend," Snow mused. "It seems like Riku and you have always been together."

"We have, in a way," Sora sighed.

"So... Why'd you... You know?"

"Because I'm crazy!" Sora groaned, and left his too-hot chocolate on a coaster before bending to place his face in his knees, curled in front of him. He had gone straight to the diner, his source of refuge, without thinking. He had felt foolish when he arrived and the diner had been closed. _Of course it wouldn't be open. It's the middle of the night on a Tuesday. Only delinquents are running around at this hour._

He almost quirked an eyebrow at the though, and wondered if his landlady had momentarily possessed him.

Sora pretended not to see the sidelong glance Serah gave Snow, some silent communication. "You wanna help me make some more cocoa?" She asked. They left, knowing Sora was more comfortable with Lightning, and despite being annoyed at being handled like an angsty teenager, appreciated not being a spectacle.

"Well, we already knew you were weird, kiddo," Lightning ruffled his hair affectionately.

"No, I mean." Sora sighed and clenched the fabric of his shorts. "I have issues. Not like quirks."

"You mean, like, poor anger management?"

"No," Sora shook his head, and then burrowed it back into his lap. How could he explain? Who would believe him? "I mean, like, you know when war veterans freak out because they have random flashbacks of dodging bullets and grenades or whatever?"

"So... Something bad happened... And you thought Kayley-"

"-Kairi,"

"You thought Kairi was attacking you?"

Sora nodded.

"Without prying, Roxas... What exactly happened to you that you would think you had to hurt someone else?"

Sora shook his head. "You wouldn't... It's kind of farfetched."

When Lightning said nothing, Sora elaborated, "For three years, my two best friends were a giant, anthropomorphic dog and duck."

There was a pause before Lightning said, hesitantly, "Well, so you're crazy, I mean, that's..."

Sora almost laughed. "Forget it. It doesn't matter what happened. Maybe I _am_ insane. Maybe I should be locked up."

Lightning looked contemplative. "Well, has this ever happened before?"

"The jumping and the overreacting, yes. The throwing into a wall, not so much."

"So she already knew about the condition, right? I mean, you two used to go out. She knows what you're like."

"I guess." Sora sighed. "I just... Can I hang out here for a while? I can't go home and face Mrs B, and explain why I look so... Bleh. And Kairi's still at Riku's, I'm sure..."

"Shouldn't you go there, then? Talk it out?"

"I will," Sora agreed, "Just not now."

"Okay, Roxas," Lightning nodded. "Take as much time as you need." She stood and went to check on her sister and brother-in-law in the kitchen.

"Light... You know that's not my real name, right?" Sora called after her. Lightning smiled an ironic smile, and disappeared into the other room.

* * *

><p>"You think he'll come back?" Kairi asked, curled up with her head in Riku's lap.<p>

"I think so," Riku stared at the floor and not at her, contemplating. "He... We have a home here. I don't think he'd just leave."

"He seemed okay with it last time," Kairi said bitterly, and turned onto her side to face away from Riku. "I wish Vincent had never given Sora his keys."

Vincent. "Speaking of, is he still hanging around?"

"Yeah."

"When I spoke to him, he said you two weren't..."

"We aren't."

"Right." Riku looked doubtful.

Kairi rolled onto her back and stared up at him shrewdly, gauging him by some invisible measurement that Riku could not pretend to understand.

"I fell in love with him," she admitted. "But he didn't want me. Said something about being too old, and in love with someone who was dead."

"Lucrecia," Riku nodded. He, too, had heard the name, although not the story behind it. "So what's he still hanging around for? Why hasn't he left?"

"He was going to, after I told him," Kairi bit her lip. "But I said to him... I don't know, Riku. I don't want to be alone. I don't need to be in love. Just not alone. God, I'm such a loser. My fiancé leaves me, and you leave me, and Vincent doesn't want anything to do with me..."

"It's not you, Kairi. Sora didn't leave because you were a bad girlfriend. And I just followed him. You know that."

"Then follow me back, this time! Both of you."

"It was different, Kai. He can't go home, now. You should know that as well as anyone. What just happened proves it more than anything. That place triggers memories in him."

"Are you saying _I_ am the reason he's... like this?"

"No," Riku shrugged uncomfortably. "But he hasn't had a single instance of relapse since we've been here. I'm just saying. There's a correlation. You may represent his old life, and what he had to fight for, subconsciously. Maybe this would have happened if anyone had attacked him. Or maybe it was because he's programmed to defend his territory from invaders. The islands from the Heartless. This place from you."

"So why isn't he attacking you?"

"He did, at first," Riku realised. "It took him a long while to adjust to me being here."

There was a long silence.

"If you wanted, you could stay." Riku sighed.

"No, I can't. I don't belong here. None of us do."

"Kairi, are you listening to a word I'm saying?"

Kairi sat up and stared at him fiercely. "Of course I am. You're saying that our home and the place we grew up and the people you two stumbled around in _the darkness for_ are doing him harm. But maybe it's about more than us, okay? What about Sora's parents? They don't deserve to lose him again. None of them do."

"Kairi, don't be stupid."

"Don't act like I'm wrong!"

"Don't make me yell at you! I don't give a damn about any of those people- any of them. What matters is Sora. What matters is that he's happy."

"Oh, that's rich. Says you, who has _always been jealous of our relationship_. Admit it, you don't care what's best! You just support him now because it works in your favour to have him all to yourself!"

"Goddamnit, Kairi! Get the fuck out of my home!"

"Fine! I'm sick of your bullshit, anyway."

Riku let her leave, and made himself not think about the conversation that had just taken place. Mostly because a part of him wondered if she wasn't right.

* * *

><p>Sora finally came back, hours later, looking like a nervous little boy who had broken his mother's vase. Riku sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. He had just gotten out of the shower some minutes before, and hadn't felt like blow drying it into its silky straightness. When it dried it would look a little thicker and frizzier, and slightly, almost imperceptibly more wavy. Only someone who knew what to look for would notice that. Sora, for instance.<p>

"Come here," Riku finally sighed. It was early in the morning, and the sky was just beginning to fade from inky blackness to a deep indigo. Sora approached him obediently, for once not making a smart comment or careful evasion, and let Riku fold his arms around him. Sora sank into him, resting his weight and his sadness on Riku's chest. He mumbled a question that Riku couldn't hear, but knew how to answer.

"Yeah, she left a few hours ago."

Sora lifted hist chin to look Riku in the eyes. "Was she... Is she...?"

"Furious. But not with you." Riku furrowed his eyebrows. "At least, not just you."

"What did you do." Sora said wearily as he disengaged from Riku's makeshift arm-sanctuary, more a statement of exhaustion than any question.

"I yelled at her." Riku shrugged. "She yelled, first, if it makes a difference." At least, he thought she had. He couldn't remember exactly how the conversation had gone verbatim, but he didn't think he had started hurling accusations like the one that he was currently striving to keep from riddling him with self-doubt and loathing.

"It doesn't," Sora said grimly. "But thank you for taking up for me anyway."

"I never said I..."

"Yeah, I know." Sora gave him a hollow smile as he collapsed on Riku's little cot. "But you did, didn't you?"

"She had no right to attack you. She knows that you're still fucked up over all that stuff," Riku waved a hand to illustrate that by "that stuff" he meant traveling across the worlds and fighting demonic evil to save this now ridiculously small little island chain that they called their home.

"She was just angry," Sora sighed. "Not her fault I'm psychotic. Or, as you put it, a "fucking moron"."

"I was talking to _her_, dumb ass," Riku rolled his eyes and fell to Sora's side. They remained silent a few minutes, lost in thought. Sunlight leaked slowly into the room.

"You shouldn't have left," Riku said, voice quiet.

"Neither should you," Sora smirked humourlessly, but closed a hand on the other's.

"But I'm back now," Riku corrected. Sora smiled, this time genuine.

"Yeah. And so am I."


	8. Chapter 8

The weeks passed. Autumn came, deepened. The temperature dropped. Riku worked in a home improvement store, Sora maintained his employment at the diner. Their days were filled with work and brown leaves and long walks; their evenings with friends and drink and identifying the constellations. Sora split his time between his rented room and Riku's apartment evenly, although always using the guest bedroom when he slept over. Riku felt homesick occasionally, more so than in all the years he had been on the move, and the weight of existing in one place for so long was becoming oppressive; the air stagnating around him. But he looked at Sora, his beautiful blue-eyed boy, and thoughts of leaving, moving on seemed like lunacy.

Not just lunacy. They sounded like suicide.

The first time Sora kissed him and said he was going to bed, and leveled Riku with a stare that communicated anything he couldn't say out loud, and they quietly, seriously made their way to the bedroom, saving laughter for the moments after when Sora curled up, sweaty and happy, resting his head on Riku's chest, and Riku had woken up with a puddle of drool attached to Sora's open mouth on his ribcage, and he had watched Sora sleeping for he didn't know how long, definitely the sun was bright and he would be a few minutes late for work if he did not get up right that minute and forgo a shower in favour of throwing on whatever clothes he could grab and speed the entire way to work, and it didn't matter, because he had been moving for five fucking years, and there was no goddamn way anything short of Armageddon or someone messing with his bike would remove him from that bed... That was when Riku decided he was happy.

* * *

><p>But happiness, and stability, like all things of the world, are fleeting. It was the middle of winter, and Christmas was within the parameters of a week's time. Outside it was cold; light flurries of snow fell occasionally, only to melt on contact with the ground. Still, the roads were dangerous, and not much traffic came through the diner, where Sora was nibbling on a piece of apple pie and talking to Lightning while Riku read a novel on the bar stool beside him.<p>

"Can you get me another glass of milk?" Sora asked, mouth full of partially chewed apple filling. Lightning barely wrinkled her nose before jerking a thumb behind her towards the kitchen.

"Get it yourself."

"Hey! I'm a customer!"

"A _trusted_ customer. We _allow_ you to serve yourself." Riku tried to keep a smirk off of his face as Lightning elaborated. Sora groaned and hopped off the bar stool.

"Fine. Need anything, Riku?"

Riku shook his head as his boyfriend disappeared.

"What are you reading?" Lightning came to Sora's stool, but as soon as Riku opened his mouth to reply, there was a clatter from the kitchen.

"Light... Uh... Can you, uh, come here, er... Help?" Sora called. Lightning pressed a hand to temple, seemingly warding off a headache.

"Be right back," she mumbled before slipping away. Riku thought about following, until he heard the door chime.

"Hey, you may want to look for someplace else, it sounds like they're having technical..." Riku blinked as the young woman removed a scarf covering part of her face, and recognised her. "You!" He pointed, flabbergasted.

"Er, me?" Vanille smiled uncertainly, removing a hat that had hidden her strawberry hair. "I'd heard you were hanging about. Where's-,"

"Vanille!" Twin blurs, one silver-haired and the other brunette, crashed into Vanille without warning, amazingly not toppling her. Riku was sure he would have been bulldozed. It was Sora and Hope, the latter of whom had come out of nowhere (or really, presumably, the back door).

"Hey, there," Vanille said amicably. They detached and dragged her like kids greeting their favourite aunt. Riku would not have been surprised to hear either of them start begging for presents.

"I didn't know you were coming!" Hope said happily. "We sent your presents to your place!"

"It's okay, I'm only staying until Christmas Eve," Vanille shrugged. "Hey, Lightning, can I get a coffee?"

Lightning had wandered in at some point, wiping off her fingers on a rag. "Sorry, we're out of milk." Sora looked sheepish. "Unless you're okay with it black."

"Just cocoa, then," Vanille smiled as Lightning disappeared.

"Hey, what happened to trusted customers getting their own stuff?" Sora huffed.

"You have officially corrupted my trust." Lightning called back. Sora looked more pleased than indignant.

"Oh, Vanille, you remember Riku?"

"Yeah," Vanille coloured slightly, but smiled.

"I take it you know these guys?" Riku asked her.

"This is where she's from," Sora answered. "I'm happy you came! Hope was moping around when he thought you would not be here for the holidays."

"Was not," Hope objected. Vanille laughed and patted his head, sidling up to a stool on Sora's other side, where Lightning had sat moments before.

"Is Fang...?"

"Her mother said she's staying at school for the holidays," Lightning answered her, placing a mug of cocoa in front of her. Vanille allowed herself a millisecond of a sad countenance before regaining her bright composure.

"Well, it's wonderful to be here, all the same."

"Any news from the front?" Riku asked laconically, relaxed despite the awkwardness of the situation.

"See for yourself," she withdrew an envelope and tossed it to Riku, who curiously withdrew its contents.

"What is it? What's it say, Riku?" Sora slid eagerly into Riku's space, trying to read over his shoulder.

"Selphie and Tidus have set a date," Riku said slowly, reading the information on the card. "The wedding is in March."

"Oh, wow!" Sora said excitedly, looking to Vanille. She grinned back.

"And guess who was asked to be a bridesmaid?"

"You?" Sora asked gleefully, and Riku did not bother covering his snort.

"No," Vanille let her false enthusiasm disappear. "Of course not. I hardly know Selphie. But it would have been nice."

Riku and Hope laughed as Vanille sipped petulantly at her cocoa, and Sora gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"You'll be there, won't you?" Vanille asked. "I was told to call and give your answer tonight, so Selphie will know if she needs to hire a hit man in advance."

Riku looked alarmed and sent Vanille a warning look, glancing hastily at the sudden pallor of Sora's face, but before he could formulate an excuse, Sora laughed and gave a weak grin.

"Of course we'll be there. Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

><p>Back at home, Riku did not hesitate to breach the topic.<p>

"Look," he said, "Vanille was out of line back there. Not that she knew it. But she still shouldn't have herded you into an answer like that. If you want me to call Tidus and explain..."

"It's fine," Sora sighed, falling onto the olive velvet sofa that they had procured from an auction a month ago. It was a little moth-eaten, but by far the most comfortable piece of furniture Riku had ever known. "I can handle it. I probably need to pick up my things from Kairi's, anyway."

Kairi. Riku and she had only spoken once since her last visit, and it had been a stiff, formal conversation. For all he knew, Kairi was still angry at them, though his indignation had faded with the months. Still, as he thought about the conversation, _You only support him now because it's in your favour to do so_, Riku felt annoyance tugging at the corners of his lips, bringing them down. Sora's eyebrows furrowed, and he poked Riku in the side.

"You okay in there?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"Dangerous, that. I try to avoid it, myself." Sora advised solemnly, and Riku laughed, despite himself.

"Yeah, well," Riku smiled and pulled Sora into his lap. Sora wrinkled his nose at being manhandled, but didn't protest. "I'm not as smart as you."

"I..." Sora start to reply, and then stopped and blinked. "I actually have no retort for that, because even if you were joking, my brain can't process you not talking in brag."

"I'm not _that_ arrogant," Riku wound his arms around Sora, who hummed noncommittally before allowing himself to be pulled into a kiss. "Well, at least I can back it up."

"Usually," Sora grinned, resting his forehead against Riku's. "I think I've managed to make you eat your words a few times over the years, though,"

"Not what you were saying last night," And he kissed him again, to prove the point.

"Not really saying much of anything, though, really." Sora pointed out.

"Actually," Riku countered, "Towards the end, you were getting positively... Chatty."

"Haha," Sora intoned in a voice heavy with sarcasm, and stood. "Well, if it's such a problem, guess you'll just have to shut me up."

"Never said it was a problem." Riku mumbled, following him quickly. "And I don't think I could, regardless."

Sora's eye roll was almost audible in its intensity.

* * *

><p>Riku accepted that he needed to call Kairi.<p>

"Riku?" She answered breathlessly on the first ring.

"What, were you running from the Mafia?" Riku joked uneasily, jogging down the stairs of his apartment building.

"No, just exercising," Kairi answered.

"You... exercise?"

"The doctor says it's good for... For me," Kairi said, and though Riku could hear the lie in her voice, he couldn't pinpoint its origin. "What's up? How are you guys?"

"We're fine. We're- ah- coming home. Or, well, back." And then he could have killed himself with the relieved noise Kairi made, and choked out, "Not, I mean, permanently. But for, you know. The wedding."

Kairi was silent for a few moments before sighing. "Well, it'll be really good to see you guys. Do you need somewhere to stay, or...?"

Riku considered it. On the one hand, he thought he'd be more comfortable at Kairi's than his mother's, but Sora might think differently. "I don't know what Sora's plans are. I just wanted to... You know. Give you a heads up. We won't be there until the end of February anyway, but, you know..."

"Right. Well, I'm glad to hear from you. And, you know. I just, I guess... I'm not mad at you, okay?"

Riku let the tension ease out of him as he mounted his motorcycle. "I know. I'll tell Sora to call you soon, okay?"

He hung up soon after, and as he drove to work, he tried not to think about how pathetically exhausted Kairi had sounded.

* * *

><p>Winter lapsed into spring, slowly. As January and February after it slipped away without noticeable change in temperature, Sora confessed the worry that the wedding would be miserably cold. Unexpectedly, however, on the eve of their departure, the cold dissipated to the point of a pleasantly chilly spring day. Sora took this as a good sign, and Riku tried to do the same, but for some reason a cloud of unease had enveloped him, and try as he might, he could not shake it's presence.<p>

"Relax," Sora smiled, laying an hand on Riku's bicep from the other side of the bed, as Riku sat on it's edge, trying to convince himself to lie down. "The plane tickets are on the counter, we're all packed, we'll pick up the dry-cleaning on the way. Even if anything goes wrong, we have back-up plans for all of it."

"It's not getting there I'm worried about," Riku answered, and privately added, _it's _being_ there._

"Well, don't worry about any of it. It's going to be awkward. But we can't change that, so there's no point in trying."

Sora's change in perspective, from abhorrent of the prospect of returning, to this new sagacious zen outlook served to further perturb Riku, for reasons he could not fathom. Yes, he had tolerated stabilizing in this strange environment; made friends as acquired a job, but the end goal was always to return home, was it not?

Or was it like Kairi said, he was nervous to go back because he thought that being around people who would judge Sora and him would drive them apart? Did he really think their relationship- fledging though it may have been- that fragile?

Riku lied down and drifted into an uneasy slumber, certain, for whatever reason, that one way or another, the coming week would be a defining point in his and Sora's lives together.

* * *

><p>AN: Yeah, I just got tired of this taking up space on my hard drive forever. I was somewhat disappointed by the lack of response to this story, considering how hard I worked on it, but reading over, it actually wasn't that good. I've written a few fics since this that were far better. Thank you so much especially to Tallis-chan, and enjoy the rest of the fic!


	9. Chapter 9

Riku became increasingly nervous as their plane landed in a familiar airport, and Sora, who had had too many years of dodging asteroids in Gummi ships to be entirely comfortable with flying, and was never pleasant unless he was able to sleep in until somewhere in the region of nine in the morning, was cross and irritable; or at least so cross and irritable as someone with a personality like Sora's ever was. Riku began to realise, though, that maybe this shift in behaviour was simply the natural side effect of being in this place, with so many negative emotions associated; hadn't he become more withdrawn and quiet over the years? Had his personality not become spectrum opposite in their new home?

Of course, Riku thought as Sora yawningly grabbed his luggage from the carousel, all of that could be justification to keep Sora away from here as much as possible. Riku couldn't even trust his thoughts anymore.

The taxi that drove them into the suburbs took unfamiliar, common routes, and Riku wanted to mention more than once, "turn left here to avoid the light," or "if you take this exit you'll avoid a knot of morning traffic," but the silent atmosphere of the cab was oppressive, and Riku was loathe to expose weakness by breaking it with idle chatter.

Finally, they were at Sora-and-Kairi's, which was now really just Kairi's. Riku pulled the cash out of his wallet and heaved their bags out of the trunk; Sora was already halfway up the walk, shivering in the early morning dew. He waited, however, until Riku joined his side to ring the doorbell.

"Hold on!" A voice, Kairi's, called inside, and then there was maybe two minutes between that shout, which had seemed to emanate from the area Sora and Riku knew to be the den, during which Sora and Riku glanced perplexedly at one another (almost as much communication as they had shared during the entirety of the airport and taxi ride), and finally Kairi, beaming, slightly embarrassed, beautiful, opened the door to her home.

And it was Kairi. Her hair was back in the bob she had sported in her early teen years, her face was rounder, her eyes brighter, and her stomach was slightly, though inevitably, bumped, but it was Kairi all the same. It took a bewildered ten seconds of silence before Sora erupted, voicing tactlessly the thoughts Riku had been hesitant to mention: "You're _pregnant!_"

Kairi's smile only faltered very slightly, but she looked proud, almost challenging as she answered, "I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you over the phone! So then I heard you were coming and I just sort of decided... Well, surprise!" She laughed, and Sora, dumbstruck, allowed Riku to supply,

"Well... Congratulations!"

Kairi turned to him, and said with a heartbreaking amount of warmth and gratitude, "Thanks, Riku. Come on, it's chilly out here!"

They followed her inside, and Riku sensed much the disquieting strangeness of passing through a looking glass.

* * *

><p>Sora went with Kairi to the art supply store that afternoon, now much (although, Riku observed privately, not entirely) recovered from his morning reticence, leaving Riku and Vincent alone in the house together.<p>

"Would you like a drink?" Vincent offered, reaching in a cabinet for a bottle of bourbon. Riku nodded acquiescence, and Vincent produced two tumblers, each filled with a small quantity of tawny liquid, which Riku drowned unceremoniously with only a light grimace and allowed Vincent to replenish without comment.

"You said you weren't sleeping together," Riku opened, straining to keep his voice neutral.

"I told you the truth."

Riku's temper slipped. "_Then how the hell-,_"

"This is not my conversation to have." Valentine interrupted. "I already warned you that her depression was getting the best of her, and that was more involvement than I had any right to. This is Kairi's story, and she should be the one to decide if it is told or not."

* * *

><p>Kairi had taken to sleeping in the guest bedroom, while Vincent maintained, after months of residence, that he was most comfortable on the couch, so Kairi magnanimously offered the bedroom suite to Sora and Riku. Which was simultaneously very understanding on behalf of one who had every right to not understand, and painfully awkward. The knowledge that Sora had lied here before, sweat-covered and emphatically performing acts of intimate nature with another partner swarmed about them both, and though they curled up close as ever, pretending nothing was wrong, Riku's head on Sora's pectoral muscle tonight, there was no suggestion of sex, and little conversation, other than of the woman who was their sister, and yet leading a life they now could not claim any involvement in.<p>

"He says he's not the father," Riku answered Sora's uninteresting account of their foray into town, which had included a run-in with an acquaintance and ended on a casual remark of how in spite of her pregnancy, Kairi seemed as active as ever. "But he wouldn't say who was."

"Well, it certainly wasn't me. It's been nine months since she and I last had sex, and she would be a lot more, well, _pregnant_ than she is now," Sora reasoned, and Riku felt a relief to a fear he had not been conscious of having. "Also, she would have been showing when she turned up in October, which, for all I know, she wasn't."

"No, she wasn't," Riku confirmed. "She can't be more than... Six months along, at most," Riku calculated mentally.

"Oh, god," Sora seized up with sudden panic. "You don't think she could have been... When she showed up, and I...?" Riku knew the unsaid statement concerned Sora's episode of PTSD, when he threw Kairi back into the wall. The incident seemed so long ago, but omnipresent, affecting in little ways the tone of the visit.

"It would certainly explain her emotional instability at the time," Riku reasoned slowly, but added. "Look, I'm sure Kairi would have told us if anything was wrong with... If there had been any complications, now that we know. And besides, you couldn't help your reaction. You know that."

"Yeah, but maybe neither could she," Sora said, so softly Riku could barely hear, and he honestly didn't know how to respond besides. He took the coward's way, kissed Sora chastely, and told him to sleep; everything would sort itself out in time.

* * *

><p>The next day, Sora and Riku were reunited with their old friends at the diner. They got there, Kairi, and even an extremely rare public appearance by Vincent in tow, and here was Wakka, his arm on the back of the booth behind girlfriend Lulu, Vanille, a pretty brunette Riku did not know sitting close to her, and of course, the wedded couple-to-be, Tidus and Selphie. Everyone greeted the pair with so much warmness and enthusiasm that Riku could not help but question its sincerity, but it was a nice change of pace that the only awkwardness was no awkwardness at all. Sora kissed Selphie's cheek and Riku, who had never been as close to her personally as Sora because of an age difference and a long-standing one-sided crush that had driven him away, ruffled her hair affectionately and gave her a brief hug; they both punched Tidus unnecessarily forcefully on the arm and called him a sucker. Wakka and Riku shared man-hugs, and Wakka cuffed Sora over the head in much a similar fashion to his treatment of Tidus. Lulu was reintroduced and said very little afterwards; the brunette was revealed to be Fang, who was on spring vacation and had decided to visit her best friend Vanille. Vincent was greeted, Riku was intrigued to observe, with the warmth of estranged relatives who always told their cousins at the end of the visit, <em>you're always more than welcome here<em>, but are rarely taken up on their hospitality. As the party settled down, eight squished into a booth meant to hold at most six at cramped quarters, with Vanille and Fang in chairs pulled to the table, the conversations began to flow, and the original six-some, who had grown and played and argued and cried and lost and won together, who had nearly doubled over time, found themselves regardless of the years very much at home, and very nostalgic for the time when this sense of ease was a given, day-to-day routine. The others, who only knew the excitement of being in a group and belonging, or else dutifully standing by someone they considered dear, varied in levels of contribution, but somehow it was as though that made them but another piece of their puzzle; the one who only spoke to say something sardonic, or the one who acted like she had known them all her life. And Riku noticed for the first time, that in a way, everyone was paired off; Wakka-and-Lulu, Tidus-and-Selphie, in an unannounced but unmistakable way, Vanille-and-Lulu, and in a quiet, chaste, but tender way, Vincent-and-Kairi.

And, of course, Riku-and-Sora.

* * *

><p>The worst part was seeing Sora's parents.<p>

It came two days before the wedding, which Sora's mother and father would also be attending, having witnessed the growth and engagement of Tidus and Selphie maybe not as closely as the communal lot of puppies that had been SoraandRikuandKairi, but as much as a reasonably close aunt and uncle. Sora's mother, immaculately groomed as always, _tsk_ed over Sora's wrinkled button-up and sweater vest and slacks that needed a hem. _At least you're not wearing those bizarre jumpsuits you were so fond of a few years ago_, she laughed tightly, and Riku tried not to grin, knowing that Sora had recently acquired a similar outfit only weeks before. Riku was in much more presentable attire, which his mother, seeming conflicted, commented on with the pride of the mother she had always been to him, but also gave him an unusually brief hug immediately afterwards.

They were not happy, Riku understood, and had on some level expected. However, the anticipation of his peers' reactions had pushed their disapproval from his mind, and he only now noticed how much it meant to him.

"So I understand you're both working, now," she would say politely over tea, and "How's that old bike of yours holding up?" he would say, and hardly a word of Kairi was mentioned, and only a pebble's impact on diamond was divulged about their relationship, and _never_ a question of return. It seemed, Riku thought, although he could not be quite sure, almost as though they didn't _want_ Sora and him to come back for good. Were they really that ashamed? Had they been that shocked? Were they still, nearly a year later, angry?

By comparison, Riku's mother later that afternoon was a walk in the park, and Riku had never in his life considered his mother "fun".

* * *

><p>Riku's mother was, put simply, a flake. She lived in a nice enough home and worked for a bank this year, which was about the caliber of work she was used to holding, but she also enjoyed a few glasses of wine at lunch every day and cooked meals in the microwave and took in strays only to forget they were hers when she let them out to use the restroom a week later. She was incredibly kind, but also absent-minded and relatively carefree. Her reaction to Riku's life on the road was concern for the duration of the five-minute phone calls he would be the one to instigate once or twice a week, and then hardly any consideration whatsoever. When they came to the doorstep, observing hedges that hadn't been trimmed in months too long, She was smoking a cigarette and wearing fuzzy slippers along with her suit for work. "Oh darlings," she cooed, ushering them inside, "you look so <em>sharp<em>! In town for the wedding? Oh, well, that's wonderful!" And ten minutes later, as she made them peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches they had only once politely attempted to turn down before she insisted, she asked Riku to change the light bulb in the hallway, and five minutes later they were gone.

Sora walked away from the events unfazed, but Riku was shaken. His mother had been the absolute only thing to remain consistent about this little town, and Riku was frightened with the prospect that this place was not actually frozen in time when he was not present.

* * *

><p>The wedding itself was held, of course, on the beach. Selphie looked resplendent in a simple calf-length white dress that was less a wedding gown and more accustomed to a spring formal event. Despite it's casualness, it suited her and the tone of the wedding perfectly. She held white flowers that Riku did not really know the name of but suspected were lilies, and white heels that sunk regrettably into the sand and made it difficult to stand straight. Kairi was at her side, looking almost her equal in a lavender maternity dress, proud and full of fierce love for the couple. At Tidus's side was Wakka, his best friend, both looking admirably sober despite the previous night's engagements, and though Tudus's hair looked slightly ridiculous gelled into a submissive state, his tux was immaculate, and expression overwhelmed with happiness. He only looked a little fondly exasperated when Selphie started crying while he uttered his "I dos" to the officiant, and when they kissed it was first a tender thing the likes of which neither Riku nor Sora could have predicted from their wildfire friend, but then he more predictably hoisted her up by the waist and all but molded their faces together. And Riku thought with wonderment, this is the first of several to come. This is going to keep on happening. This is the beginning of the next ten years.<p>

Riku and Sora had danced together once, earning approving grins from various friends, although Sora's parents, also twirling about the floor, had averted their eyes, before they came to sit with Kairi.

"No more dancing," Sora suggested when they were a proper distance and Riku had drawn a seat for him to take, which or once he did not comment on and simply accepted graciously.

"You're terrible at it," Riku agreed, and Kairi laughed. Vincent was beside her, an arm lightly about her shoulders as her head rested against his upper arm, but though Riku raised his eyebrows, no one commented on this arrangement.

"Do you want another glass of water," Valentine offered, and she handed her glass to him gratefully.

"He can be sweet, sometimes," Kairi said quietly when he was a bit away.

"Have things... Changed between you?" Sora asked hesitantly.

"No. Not really, I mean." She shook her head, and sighed, and looked at the lavender tablecloth for a few moments, and as Riku struggled for something to say, she looked up and began speaking again.

"Last night, at Selphie's bachelorette party, she said something that made a sort of impact with me. All of the girls had gone home, and it was just me and her, lying in the her old bedroom at her parent's house like it was middle school and we were having a sleepover again. I mean, I used to enjoy and dread those sleepovers. I grew up with two boy best friends, and I didn't know much about girls or being a girl, although I think you must've thought me very girly at the time. But I knew, somehow, that that was a part of me that I needed to understand, and that if I ever wanted to be a woman, needed to learn to utilize to my advantage. So I would go to Selphie's and we would talk about boys in a way you two would never talk about boys (which is incredibly ironic now, I guess), and music that you would have hated, and films you would have made fun of, and put on make-up and read magazines. So it was really through her that I knew about being a girl, because my mother was so old, you understand. Anyway, this felt a lot like that in a way, because here she was, attaining that elusive ideal I've nearly grasped but can never quite achieve: she was getting married. And like all those times she corrected my make-up or told me that liking a certain boy was not looked on favourably by the other girls, she told me, 'The secret is, there aren't any soul mates, or at least, they are very rare. Now, I love Tidus with all my heart, and you know this, and he loves me just as much. But sometimes there are dreams, and half-moments of thinking, _well what if this is wrong. What if my soul mate is out there in one of those millions of worlds._ And then I reasoned, well I won't ever know him, will I? This island is all I have, and all I want. I'm not going to go looking for him, and he's not going to come looking out in the middle of nowhere for me. But I do know one thing, that if I have a soul mate out there, he wants me to be happy. And I'm happy with Tidus. Maybe not in a romance movie sort of way, but definitely in a I-want-to-grow-old-with-you sort of way. Sometimes, it isn't about destiny. Sometimes, it's just about comfort."So I don't begrudge you for anything that has happened, Sora," she addressed him specifically, now. "I realised that this was the only way it could have been: she would have to be the first to get married, because she always guides me into everything." She concluded, and then added, with a sort of laugh, "I don't know how I'm going to manage being a mother without her to tell me what to do."

"Kairi," Riku said quietly, but determinedly after a few seconds, "who is the father of your child?" This was the first time, he noticed he had acknowledged the child's existence. It had always been _the pregnancy_, never _the baby_. There was an actual life growing in her: one that would exist and grow just as he had once done. It would be born and continue to affect them fro the rest of their lives. This monumental discovery made the world around him lurch, and made by comparison her answer, though incredible, seem less important.

"I don't know." She said, looking at both Riku and Sora evenly. Sora opened his mouth to question further, but Kairi beat him to it. "I started drinking when you left. I don't mean I would sip a beer while painting, I mean I would go to a bar and drink maybe eight glasses of vodka until either I stumbled home, got a taxi, or even once or twice Vincent came and took me home. I was bad. But on at least a few of these occasions, I didn't come home, at least immediately. You've got to understand," Kairi pleaded, although Riku already did, because when Sora had rejected him for Kairi he had considered this same strategy, only was repulsed by the idea of any other skin that wasn't Sora's. "I was lonely, and I was sad, and sleeping with men wasn't the best decision, but it was warm and it soothed the ache of having my best friends gone. And there must have been a dozen of them before I finally found out I was pregnant. The day I found out I got in the car and came to you apartment and _demanded_ you come home, because I didn't know how I could do this without you," Kairi looked close to tears at this point, and Sora moved, and then Riku came to a decision and did also, and they moved to her either side and held her. "But the way I did it was all wrong, I know that now. If it had been me, I would have turned me down, too."

"No, you wouldn't have," Sora looked weak. He clenched her. Riku knew, however, that Kairi may or may not have been telling the truth; he had, after all, asked her to come live with them, all those months ago.

"It doesn't change the fact that I was selfish," Kairi soothed. "You're doing better now. Everyone can see it; everyone has been talking about how much more talkative you are, how you are more responsive. Like the you that went away before all... All _that,_" Kairi made a sweeping gesture with her arms, "You just seem better. And Riku tried to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen. Look, Sora, I wasn't sad that you left me so much as that you were _gone_. I couldn't understand why, even if we weren't a couple anymore, we couldn't be _together_. But now I do. You're happiness is more important to me than anything. Well, almost anything," She smiled, looking down at her own stomach. And Riku got, then, why she hadn't simply aborted or offered the baby for adoption: whatever the mistake of its conception, Kairi was _glad_ for this baby, _needed_ it, even, as much as it would eventually need her.

"We love you," Sora said. "We will always be there fore you, and I'm sorry we made you feel otherwise. This baby is important to _us_, also," Sora said, once again vocalising the though Riku could not have put into words.

"I know," Kairi said, and then patted her stomach serenely. "I think she knows, too. Feel."

And it was absurdly cliché, Riku thought, but at that exact moment, the baby was kicking. And Riku didn't know if he had ever been so proud of anything in his entire life.

* * *

><p>Leaving, three days later, was bittersweet. Riku was incredibly sad to be going, but so much had happened that he desperately needed to get back to his own bed and process for at least a month straight before he would be able to make heads or tales of anything.<p>

"I'm sorry I can't give you a proper send-off," Kairi said, grinning despite everything, as usual. "I have an appointment with the doctor today."

"You sure you don't want us to delay it and come with?" Sora offered, and Kairi shook her head.

"That's sweet of you, but Vincent will be there. I'll call you tonight and tell you how it goes, though."

"We'd like that," Riku nodded, a hand on the small of Sora's back, mirroring Vincent and Kairi's position by the door.

"At least let me walk you to the car," Sora said, grinning up at Vincent. "Shove over, big guy. I want to play Daddy now."

As the two traveled down the walk, Vincent placed a hand on Riku's shoulder. "She will be taken care of," Valentine assured Riku. "The child is not mine, but, with your permission, it will know me as its father. I may not have the sort of feelings for her that are ideal between parents, but I have come to care for her. And I feel that though you are her closest friends, I am also now a part of her life, and have some responsibility to the child."

Riku had to take a moment to process these words before he understood their full meaning. "Are you asking me for my permission to marry her?"

"I'm asking to be a part of this family."

Riku clasped hands with the older man, and met his eyes. "I appreciate you more than I can express."

"It is you who has brought me here. I am as much in your debt." They shook hands left the house, Vincent closing the door behind him, and they caught up to Sora an Kairi, who were hugging, the latter with tears in her eyes.

* * *

><p>"When I was fighting Organization XIII," Sora was saying, as Riku drew near, "I had a friend named Stitch. Funny little blue alien dog thing. He told me about this concept he had encountered on another world, which, from what he described, was really similar to this one. They call it "ohana," and in their language it means family. And family, he said, means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten. We're family, Kairi. And we haven't left you behind, and we sure as hell haven't forgotten you. I don't know what's going to happen now, but just give it time, and know that this baby is not just on your hands. We've got your back."<p>

Sora grinned and kissed her chastely on the lips, and then she turned to Riku, and perhaps because she had more reason to be upset with him perhaps than Sora, they hugged longer and more fiercely than she and Sora had.

"I love you, I love you," was all he could think to say. And again for good measure, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she said, and there was really nothing else to say.

Sora and Riku loaded up the taxi, and Kairi and Vincent got in her minivan, and they all pulled away from the curb. And though Riku stared out the window, drinking in these last images of the place he had grown up in, so changed, so the same, he glanced at Sora, who had taken his hand and noticed he was looking only through his own window at a very opaque, blue, cloudless sky.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: CHEESIEST ENDING EVER. Let's here it for Christmasfic in June, yayyyy.

* * *

><p>Epilogue.<p>

Skylar shrieked bloody murder at the sight of the stuffed mouse toy Tidus and Selphie had gotten her, and Kairi shrugged with an apologetic grin as Vincent grabbed her and began bouncing her patiently.

"_Skylar? You're naming her Skylar?" Riku asked distastefully. He preferred something more elegant sounding, like Olivia, or Isabelle._

"_It's after Sora, you ass," Kairi laughed. "His name means Sky. Which is why her middle name is Ila."_

"_What's that mean?" Sora asked._

"_Earth."_

"_Whose name is earth?" Riku looked confused, and Kairi laughed at him._

The second of the present children, Horatio, looked at the older girl disdainfully. If he could speak, he probably would have asked his mother why the girl was being so irrational.

"_You're pregnant?" Vanille squealed, embracing Selphie simultaneously with Kairi._

"_I just found out," Selphie grinned. "Oh, I hope it's a girl. I want a girl so badly. Is that wrong?"_

"_Not at all," Kairi smiled. "Although, girls are a handful, I'll warn you."_

"Okay, Fang, your turn," Sora chirped brightly, tossing a poorly-dressed package to her. She opened it and inspected the contents. "Chocolate."

"Expensive chocolate!" Sora grinned proudly, and Riku elbowed him in the ribs.

Fang laughed. "Thank you both, I love it, Riku," She said, and everyone laughed because of how obvious it had been that Sora had picked out most of the gifts, which were, by far and large, candy.

"_So what's going on with you and Fang? I mean, really?" Riku asked Vanille as soon as Hope had left._

"_Probably something very similar to what went on with you and Sora a year ago," Vanille replied, stirring her coffee with wry amusement on her face._

"I want to give a present," Hope whined. "I haven't gotten to, yet." He dug through a pile and handed a box to a once-again-pregnant Selphie.

"Look at that!" Selphie grinned at a somewhat tacky, although likely highly priced necklace. "It's beautiful!"

_It was clear, from the first meeting, that Hope had a bit of a crush on Selphie, despite the wedding ring and much-larger-than-him husband she sported. Tidus, however, only tried not to laugh as Hope made a nuisance of himself by offering some small diner service to her every two minutes._

"This is from Snow and I," Serah smiled, handing an envelope to Lulu and Wakka. It contained tickets to a couples' spa resort that they had visited recently.

Lulu, though never entirely comfortable with Wakka's friends, had warmed up considerably to Serah and, in particular, Lightning. Both graceful women with quiet demeanors, the two had found that compared to the rambunctious young adults, they were actually more kindred spirits than many might have predicted.

The apartment was dressed in tinsel, the tree blinking merrily in the candlelight. Riku's apartment, now also Sora's permanent residence, even though they had tea with his old landlady on regular occasions, was this year's host for the Christmas gathering. In attendance were no less than fourteen adults and two children, which was really both more than and exactly the right number of people to be in the small living quarters at any one time. Vincent handed, quietly, without announcement, a box to his wife; Kairi accepted as quietly and offered her neck for the simple oval locket with a picture of their daughter inside to be hung around, and then entwined her fingers with him.

_They were not in love, still, Kairi had explained that afternoon. They had a daughter, and they had a home, and they kissed like a normal couple, even on the odd occasion had fallen into bed like a normal couple. But while they loved each other, unlike Tidus and Selphie, who had defeated the doubts in their hearts and managed to fall in a love maybe not legendary, but romantic enough in feeling, they could not fully erase the memories of their past loves enough to accept that feeling. If asked to be honest, Kairi would have said she didn't know the nature of her love for her husband, only that he was very kind to her and she was very fond of him. Vincent, though he never would admit it, felt more like a friend than a lover, but did his best to be a suitable model of both_. _ As a father, however, he could never have been more sincere. _

Lightning gave Selphie something practical: diapers, knowing that in the coming months, two infant childrenwould use a surplus of them.

"Bless you," Selphie said, earnestly.

_Tidus and Lightning had originally not gotten along. Tidus was loud, excitable, and lacked the sweetness in his nature that set him and Sora apart. It was not until Lightning, on a visit to the other Avalanche diner, saw a doting husband drop everything and fawn over his wife when, in the very place, Selphie's water broke, that Lightning began to see another side to him, and accept him for the character he was, instead of the person he was at face-value._

It was not until everyone had strayed to various lodgings to sleep that Riku and Sora exchanged gifts. Riku awkwardly brought out a box and opened it, blushing ridiculously, and stammering as he tried to remember what to say. "Look, if you think I'm getting down on one knee you're deranged," Riku said in a rush, leaving Sora doubled over in laughter.

They lived happily ever after.


End file.
